Delayed June 16, 2009
Posted by glassowater in My Little Life.Tags: Friends, happiness, love, Music, My Little Life, Road Trips, vacation
12 comments
I know I haven’t been writing. I have alot on my mind. There are things I need to get off my chest and events in my little life that I need to write about. Amazing people, road trips, beautiful music and incredible friends, all have permeated my life for the past few weeks. Been having such a good time that I completely forgot about this site.
But soon, soon I will sit down and commit thought to keyboard and share some of the things rolling around in my tiny little mind. Right now, I’m full of the wonder and awe that the people in my life have graced me with. The love I have felt over the last few weeks from the people that matter to me has been overwhelming.
The delay is over. The thoughts are organized, the photos have been transferred to the computer. Now all I need to do is type…. soon.
Vacation Day Trips: Castle In The Clouds May 24, 2009
Posted by glassowater in My Little Life, geek, photography, vacation.Tags: castle in the clouds, vacation
18 comments
I haven’t had a vacation in a long time and part of me wnats to sit home and do nothing for that week and part of me wants to cram in everything I’ve been dying to visit for a long time now. So I came up with a compromise: day trips. Each day, I plan on traveling either near or far for some daylong fun.
First up:
I love this place. I have been here many times throughout my life. The first time we went there, it was a 1st grade field trip. Not the wisest of decisions on my elemtary school’s part. I can almost imagine the meeting before they approved this field trip:
“Ok, let’s take all the first graders, hype them up on sugar and take them on a long bus ride to this beautiful castle in upstate NH and make them go on a long tour through a dark building! What could possibly go wrong?”
I’m sure they meant well, but come on? Bunch of kids cooped up in a bus for hours then let loose on the grounds around this castle? Chaos and hijinks ensued! I think this was the first field trip where someone got left behind…actually serveral someones who had managed to get lost and hooked up with another tour group instead of ours. The other tour group, upon realizing we had left these kids behind, did the right thing and drove them back to your school. This was the 70’s where mistakes happened and if it was rectified in a satisfactory manner, nobody ever said a word. Can you imagine if that happened now? Somebody would be suing somebody’s ass that day!
But I digress…. Since that first ill-advised encounter with this place, I have grown rather fond of this odd attraction in the white mountains. I’m a history buff and have always loved the story behind how and why this was built here, fully restored from it’s original location.
I’ve always been fascinated by the fact that while all these tours are going on, there are people living in the house! That is amazing to me. I can barely stand having relatives over to my house and here are these people who open their house to total strangers, allowing them to wander through at will, near all the antiques and the other things they hold near and dear to their hearts. They are obviously far better people than me.
While I am there, I will do my best to get some original photographs. The one I used, I got off Flickr…yup, I cheated. 
Check out the link if you would like to learn more about this fascinating little slice of New Hampshire history.
Vacation is Coming May 16, 2009
Posted by glassowater in Friends, My Little Life, Rant, crazy, redhead, silly, work.15 comments
In three weeks, I will finally be going on a vacation. I know what you are saying: “George, you work two jobs, how can you swing a whole week off?”
The answer is easy: just don’t give a shit.
I need some time to myself. Some time to re-evaluate my little life. Been so wrapped up in making money and taking care of family business that I have completely lost touch with what I really want. I’m not one to avoid introspection, but for some reason, despite my best efforts, I have lost touch with the things that matter to me.
I know the biggest reason for this is my work schedule. For those who don’t know, allow me to explain.
Since September 2008, I have had two jobs. My full time job is with a car dealership. I work there from 45-65 hours a week. They provide full healthcare, 401k, dental, etc. The job is very stable despite the climate out there in the car business. I may bitch about this job alot. I may complain about my co-workers and their lack of interest in anything other than sports and naked women, but it’s a good job. I’m the lynch-pin of the dealership and I love that responsibility. I don’t think I get recognized enough for what I do here, but that is a subject for another blog.
Since September, I joined up at a call center. The original plan was to have this job part time to help offset the cost of oil for the winter since it was looking very scary. Then oil went way down….and thats when I made the mistake of looking at my 401k. Just like everybody else out there, I was seeing diminishing returns. So my friends talked me into joining them at this call center. The calls come in, you take the call, fill out the order, upsell what you can and thats it. Easy right? Easy, but nerve racking. The problem with the part time is I am required to do 20 hours a week there to maintain my part time status.
So lets do the math: on a slow week, I am doing a minimum of 65 hours and on a busy week, I’m doing 85. Thats eighty five hours of work that leaves very little time for a social life, working out or even vital little things…like sleeping! Let’s not even get started on spare time to work on a painting, go hiking. The best I can do is a nice long drive along the coast between shifts….
I have been justifying this self torture for one reason: I’m not seeing anyone. Since I’m not dating, might as well make as much money as possible. The rebuttal to my position is: “Well, if you didn’t work so much, maybe you WOULD meet someone.” It’s a never ending cycle. I’ve also come to realize that my position, working my ass off because I have nobody in my life, is the passive position. And if I keep taking this position, a non participatory role in my own dating life, crap like what just happened to me will keep happening and I’ll forever be heartbroken and miserable.
Oh, thats right….I never told you about the last month and half of stupidity that re-entered my life. I guess I never wrote about it because I felt like I had been used. Another redhead pulled the wool over my eyes. Thats not exactly true. She didn’t pull the wool over my eyes so much as I did it myself. Just wanted to believe everything she said was true. But no, it was a lie, just like before. Oh yeah, there was a before to this story too, which is why I should have seen how it would all end. But sadly, my heart dove in face first and ran merrily away without me. Now he’s broken, shattered really. And no, I won’t go into detail. Would rather keep it vague and not name names.
But if I didn’t work so much, if I had some kind of a life, maybe I could have seen her coming a mile away and told her to go to hell like I should have rather than going along with things simply out of conveniance. And conveniance is never a reason to start a relationship with someone.
So thats why I need this vacation. I need it so I can step outside of myself and my life. I need new priorities and new objectives. And most of all, need a new plan for my little life. I need to be a better friend to those who care about me. I need to be true to myself and stop compromising so much of my life. And I need to make myself available, so when she finally does walk into my life, I won’t be so busy that I hardly notice her and miss the chance of a lifetime.
Vacation is coming and with it comes a lot of change. I think I’m ready.
A Conversation with Myself May 1, 2009
Posted by glassowater in My Little Life, anxieties, geek.Tags: matters of the heart, script, theater
13 comments
I have had this conversation in my head for a week now and I wasn’t sure how to write it out. First I tried it like an interview. That was okay, but I quickly realized that the format really lent itself to theater. So I reworked it as a one act play. I haven’t done writing for the theater in years. I left out all the stage directions so as not to bore everyone to death.
Special thanks to Maleesha who offered me some helpful editing. Your suggestions rocked!!
A Conversation With Myself.
A Play in one act.
Written and copyrighted by George Parnell, 2009.
Setting: Bare stage with a desk. One chair behind the desk and two in front. A single spotlight shines on the center of the scene.
ME: Heart? Thanks for coming in today. We need to have a serious talk….
HEART: Really? What’s troubling you George? You seem upset and worried and…
ME: Ok, look…I know you are my heart and it’s part of your shtick to be all emotional and caring and worrying about me, but I have to ask you to just stop and listen to me for a minute.
H: ok….
M: I have to ask you for a big favor…
H: I will do what I can.
M: I need you to stop chasing after these hopeless and pointless infatuations.
H: Um, stop? You do realize that’s part of my job description right?
M: What do you mean?
H: Well it says right here in my Terms of Service that as your heart, I have free reign to blindly go forward, chasing after the dreams that you and your rational mind may deem unnecessary and distracting. By this contract, I have the right and the mandate to pursue the very things that you are afraid to pursue.
M: Don’t you understand that what you do is……..
H: What I do is necessary and you have no recourse or ability to reign me in.
M: Wait, wait…slow down here… You don’t have to quote from the Employee Handbook for George, ok?Now, I know full well what your function is. And, may I say you do a fine job.
H: Thank you…that’s touching…
M: But what you have been doing lately? You recent activities have been detrimental to the whole company, so to speak. Your ambitions and activities have caused me more than a few sleepless nights…
H: That’s just you over thinking…
M: Let me finish. You have been going in 100 directions at once. We need to find a way for you to have a little focus and perspective and…
H: Focus and perspective??? Pssssh! That’s your job! Intellect and rationale? That’s all you! Me? I am governed by whimsy and lust. I find what you desire most and then your job is to sort out the details.
M: But while you fixate so much on the impossible and unattainable, I find myself missing out on perfectly good opportunities around me. We need to work together.
H: No we don’t. Without me, you would have no dreams, no aspirations and no hope.
M: Ok, that’s a little extreme…
H: Is it really?
M: I think so, yes.
H: Hmmmmm… And what “opportunities” are you missing out on around you? Do tell…
M: Well, for starters, I ran into an ex girlfriend the other day….
H: Wait wait wait wait!! Is that what this is about? You run into an ex girlfriend and you think I should have felt something? Is that it?
M: Well, yeah….I mean, did you see what she was wearing?
H: Noooo! For Crying out loud! Don’t you remember? We have been down that road already with her and in case you didn’t notice, I still have the scars….
M: Oh she didn’t break you that bad….
H: Typical! And you wonder why I don’t return most of your calls… Do you really want to give her the opportunity to put us through the ringer again? Really? I’m sorry; I’m not with you on that at all.
M: Well, it was just a thought, but definitely a far more realistic thought than your ambitions. Why are you so weak for anyone with red hair?
H: It’s not a weakness and I think you and I both know it’s not just red hair. It’s a smile, the way she cranes her neck, a soft giggle….
M: Allright, settle down…
H: I’m just sayin’….. And it’s not just the redhead. You know what I’m talking about….
M: Hmmm?
H: There’s the blonde….
M: Mmm the blonde, *sighs* She is really sweet…
H: And don’t forget that sales girl you fell head over ass for….
M: See that’s different, she at least goes to the same bars I go to…
H: And then there’s that brunette…. Rawr! She just rocks your little world, doesn’t she?
M: Ah yes, the brunette….Well, to be honest, yeah she definitely leaves me a little breathless….but wait! That’s not the point!! You are getting me off track again! Look! Bottom line is this; I want you to come on board and work with me. I want a goal that’s attainable.You don’t have to be all logical like me. Baby steps, my friend. If we work together, maybe we can work towards some of your goals and some of my goals and find a happy medium.
H: But you see, that’s completely against my nature. My purpose here is to be that ridiculous driving force behind your ambitions. I have to give you outlandish goals, aspire for love from unattainable women, and make your pulse race every time you catch a glimpse of red hair. I give you that excitement when you see your name in print when your art is being shown someplace. I’m that swelling of pride when someone compliments you on your writing or a painting.
M: Huh?
H: I am your core.
It is up to you to decipher and discover what you truly want. If I stopped doing my job and didn’t present you with hundreds of directions, as you put it, where would that leave you? No ambition, no hope. Sure, you have some sleepless nights because of me and yes, I know that love and lust and dating are complex issues! But when it comes to matters of the heart, the Handbook clearly states, “It’s complicated”.
M: Really? The hand book just says that?
H: The heart wants what the heart wants and there’s nothing you can do about it.
M: But don’t you see? That’s the very heart of the problem!
H: …….Very funny. Oh you and your whitty puns….
M: Sorry, no pun intended. It’s just that I want things to be neat and organized. I want to meet someone, fall in love, get married and live a little of the American dream. But because of all your distractions, I can’t!
H: Am I that distracting?
M: Are you kidding? Lets have a look at what a typical day is with you: Let’s paint this week! Think I’ll try my hand at writing! Oooh I got a new camera! I must be a photographer now! Let’s ignore the bills and go waste money on art supplies. Hey, Best Buy is having a sale! New Computer! Oh and don’t get me started on the women! A simple smile or a kind word from anyone of the female persuasion and you are off to the races, my friend. You seem to tell me that every positive gesture, a touch, a smile, a kind word is some sign that she’s interested.
H: But what if they really are interested and you are just selling yourself short, like I’ve been telling you for years now.
M: ……. I hadn’t thought of that.
H: And that’s why you need me. Ha
M: Ok, I get it. But you have to work with me. I can’t have you running off all the time. I swear, you are worse than a three year old sometimes. But instead of “Hey look! Shiny!”, it’s “Hey look! Breasts!” and you are off being distracted from what really needs to be done. Can you at least agree to try to work with me?
H: Well, I guess I could fixate more on their legs and asses if that would help…
M: Hold onto that thought. What I need you to do is to limit the amount of time we spend distracted by red hair and breasts and smiles. Do you remember the time we got on the wrong train in Boston and ended up on a nonstop train to Braintree all because you were distracted by some red hair?
H: Ok, that story is so old it deserves a place in a retirement community…
M: The point is, let’s work together.
H: ……..I don’t know….it goes against everything I stand for….
M: Please? I’m begging you here….
H: I can’t make any promises. I am driven by your deepest desires. Sometimes, I’m going to disappoint you. Sometimes, I’m going to let you down. You have to accept that we are often at cross-purposes.
M: I can live with that as long as you agree to keep those distractions to a minimum just so I can attain a few of my short-term goals without being sidetracked. Deal?
H: Deal. But please, for both of us, do NOT call that ex girlfriend again. That would be embarrassing for both of us I think.
M: Fine. But don’t blame me if passing on the opportunity to get laid causes me to stare uncontrollably at the bouncing bits at the gym.
H: You want to be the creepy staring guy at the gym now?
M: Shut up, that’s not what I meant.
H: Sure, but you may want to speak to the Id about that.
M: I know, he should be here anytime now. I told him we were having this meeting….
ID: You wanted to see me?
M: Yes Id, thanks for coming and FOR CHRIST’S SAKE! Would you please pull your pants up?!!!!
ID: Sorry, I was surfing the web for porn earlier and….
M: Allright! Allright! Now look Id, sit down, we have to have a serious talk…..
Middle Cyclone by Neko Case: A Review March 30, 2009
Posted by glassowater in Music, My Little Life, geek, redhead.Tags: I'm a geek, Music, My Little Life, Neko Case, review
3 comments
Ok, I know what you are going to say: George found himself another redhead to obsess over. And yes, Miss Case is gorgeous and a redhead. That aside, her latest album Middle Cyclone has completely blown me away.
Let me back up a bit.
About 4 years ago, my ex told me about this musician she loved named Neko Case. She prefaced that statement by saying, “You’ll love her. She’s a redhead.” Now for most people, that would seem like a harmless statement. A matter of fact statement describing the hair color of an individual, plain and simple. I knew better than that.
Whenever the subject of other women ever popped up in a conversation, even something as silly as discussing hair color, was a dangerous mine field of neurotic worries and complaints that inevitably led to a fight. One false move and BANG “I’m not good enough!” and BOOM “You want her!” A smile at a waitress and BANG “You must be sleeping with her!” Polite and chatty with the check out girl and BOOM “Is she your next date??”
And commenting on the beauty of a singer, any singer, no matter how ridiculously out of my league or sphere of influence meant that I simply MUST be actively trying to track them down so I could dump her and sleep with them.
Yup, she was a delightful little ball of Italian craziness. I know it’s weird, but I think her unpredictability was one of the reasons I loved her. It was entertaining to talk her down from her neurotic psycho episode and making up, well, that was always the best part. But living your life on a minefield, always unsure if the next thing you said would trigger a massive fight, that wore thin after awhile.
So when she mentioned that Neko Case was a redhead, I immediately shut down all interest in the conversation. I declined her offer to listen to her cd and even passed on a chance to see her live, all to avoid a massive blow out of a fight that I knew would come if I had shown interest in front of my ex. Secretly, on my own, I went and checked her out on my own online.
I’m not a country fan. Never have been.
Most modern country music annoys the hell out of me with it’s simplicity and jingoistic “America Fuck Yeah” attitude, and the incredibly depressing cry in your beer, sleep with your sister and go watch NASCAR reputation. But there are elements of the country sound that I love, elements that soar above the mundane and create something that can touch us all universally and not just the niche market of modern country music. The term “Alt-Country” has come into popularity in the last decade or so to categorize this sound.
Wilco, Neil Young, Lucinda Williams, Whiskeytown, Uncle Tupelo, Southern Culture On the Skids, Palace Brothers, Old 97s and even rockabilly and psychobilly bands fall into this category from time to time, although psychobilly definitely leans more towards it’s punk influences than it’s country inspired roots. My love for this know-it-when-I-hear-it genre of music has helped me appreciate artists like Johnny Cash, Patsy Cline (early recordings) and even the subtle influences of artists like Buddy Holly, Jerry Lee Lewis, Carl Perkins and especially the influence of Sun records on the defining sounds of country, blues, rockabilly and, of course, rock and roll.
When I was finally able to check out Neko Case, I fell in love. Her voice, sometimes grating, sometimes demanding, sometimes soaring and angelic, sometimes accusatory but always entertaining, captured my heart. Her lyrics, with their dark overtones, touch the perfect balance between bitterness and light, an ambiguous place that allows her voice to tell you the context, not just the words.
Middle Cyclone starts off with This Tornado Loves You, an appropriate begining. A song about love as a force of nature, strong and undeniable and yet, the subject of her affections is in denial, refusing to believe. And no matter how frenzied or powerful an emotion is, even if it has the power of a tornado, it can be deflated and defeated by a simple act of denial. This sets the tone for the album, a strong set from beginning to end. Songs of unrequited love, loss, frustration and hope, this album has the impression of an artist in a middle ground emotionally, lost and searching for something to hold on to, but the songs reveal that despite all of this, she is a confident and powerful creative force.
Her style on this album definitely still falls into the alt-country genre with some elements of indie pop, folk and even a little motown sound mixed in. I heard it, don’t mock me!
Her voice is at times heartbreakingly beautiful with an undercurrent of frustration and even hostility. The Next Time You Say Forever contains the memorable lyric “The next time you say forever, I’m going to punch you right in your face.” That one sentence tells a whole story by itself and thats what I love about her. On the title track, she laments “Someones made a fool of me ‘fore I could show them how it’s done.” The title is perhaps directly misleading, expecting a raucous song like Tornado, we get a soothing meditiation on unrequited love.
I could easily go track by track and mention every little aspect that spoke to me: a key lyric, a note, a reverb of a guitar, the sigh in her voice. There are few things to pick apart on this album. I will say that my only true complaint here is that some of the songs are too short, almost feeling incomplete, but it works within the themes and confines of the song. Like all good things, they must come to an end and some of these songs, you just want to go on and on. But I admire that about her writing: she gets the point out, never overstays her welcome and leaves you begging for more.
Yup, I’ve found a new redhead to obsess over, just wish I could have found her sooner….
37 and Still Feeling Frisky March 10, 2009
Posted by glassowater in Friends, My Little Life, anxieties, food, geek.Tags: food, getting old, Happy Birthday
11 comments
Yup, it’s official: I’m 37. Part of me wants to discuss aging, growing older and wiser and what the future holds for me and my place in the world. Part of me wants to create a poetic treatise on aging, love and good friends. All noble intentions of my creative mind.
The rest of me wants cake.
Think I’m heading out for cake and ice cream. Diet be darned! I’ll hobble my way through the day loaded up on cake. 
Sometime this week, I’ll write something reflective and introspective but right now, I hear chocolate calling me.
PS: Quote of the day from one of my co workers:
“37? Really? Happy Birthday! You are officially invisible to women under 30! Congratulations!”
Just When You Think It’s Over….. February 27, 2009
Posted by glassowater in My Little Life.8 comments
My friend Shweta over at Spazztastically Untitled challenged me with yet another interview and I was more than happy to oblige.
1. Which celeb would you be with under these conditions. You can choose from Salyma Hayek’s Balloon boobs popped down to a size double AA, or from Alyson Hannigan shaved all her beautiful red locks off.
Without a doubt, I would choose Alyson Hannigan. From what I have seen of her in interviews and such, she just seems very genuine and sweet and the lack of hair would not diminish those attributes. Salma Hayek on the other hand, my general impression of her as someone who is very wrapped up in her own ego. She seems to have a decent sense of humor (hell, she was in a Kevin Smith movie) but I get the impression that’s a front for her image. She strikes me as someone who may be very cold and rather snobbish. Ms Hannigan just seems so charming, the kind of person who can walk into a room and win everyone over with her smile alone. Ok, that’s a bit sappy, but her smile wins me over every time…. 
2. We have all experienced being hit on in a strange way, what’s the strangest way you’ve been hit on, or craziest thing you’ve done to get noticed by someone?
I’m not good at noticing when I’m actually being hit on. I’m kinda clueless when someone is giving me a hint that they like me. You basically have to either hit me over the head with something or hop in my lap half naked before it dawns on me “Hmmm, I think she likes me….”
The strangest thing I ever did to get someone to notice me? I can honestly say I’ve never done anything too strange. When I was in college, I would dedicate songs to someone on my show, hoping they were listening…but that was more embarrassing than strange. I’ll have to work on that and start plotting out strange and unusual ways to get someones attention. I’ll get back to you.
3. What were the cirucumstances surrounding the time you had a gun to your head?
Hmmmm…not sure how to approach this. When I was just out of high school, I made a lot of decisions that involved people that, in retrospect, I probably shouldn’t have been involved with. Drug dealers, gang members, etc. People that I somehow became involved with and just as quickly as they entered my life and things in my life went a little crazy.
A ‘friend’ offered me some money and some free weed if I went and delivered something for him. Stupidly I accepted. I was met at the door by a pleasant gentleman, who invited me in. As I entered, I was knocked face first into the floor. Laying there, someone behind the door put his knee in my back and held a gun to the side of my face. The pleasant gentleman began to inspect the package I brought with me and instructed the man with the knee in my back to blow my nuts off if everything wasn’t there. I now had a gun stuck in my crotch. Everything seemed to be in order with the package, I was helped to my feet. Another bag was tossed to me and I was shoved out the door. Only when I was on the road again did I notice I had pissed my pants.
My ‘friend’ apologized to me, saying he didn’t know that was going to happen. I threw his ‘free weed’ in his face and left. That was the last time I saw any of those people. I went back to college and completely disassociated myself from that whole crowd. That whole year of my life was a big mistake and I hope nobody thinks less of me for it. I was young, extremely stupid and very naïve.
4. What’s a memory from your childhood that stands out?
After my father passed away, my mom took me and my sister Pam to Disney World. We drove down from NH and I remember the drive down rather vividly. And Disney world was such a blast! I remember every ride! Dumbo, The Haunted Mansion, TeacCups, all of it stands out in my memory. There is a great picture of me in a child stroller just completely and totally wiped out from day with my little mickey mouse hat on. I was exhausted and sore and it was the best day ever!
5. If you were stranded on an Island(I had to do an island question) with three supermodels…would you find a way to leave? If you had sufficient shelter/food/cable rigged to your island, of course, 
You know, I have said this before and I will say it again: Anyone can look good. Anyone can be physically attractive and sexy in their own right. But that only goes so far. Sooner or later, you have to talk to these people and if I have no interest in whats coming out of their mouths, than it doesn’t matter how beautiful they are. I have a feeling that most models are not members of mensa nor do they share most of my oddball interests in life, so I hate to say it but I think after a few days or weeks watching them lounge around the beaches in their skimpy bikinis, I honestly think I would reach a level of annoyance that I would have to get my ass out of their. And if one of those models was Tyra Banks, I would insist on some duct tape to tape that mouth of hers shut so I wouldn’t have to listen to her constantly talk about herself and turn every little conversation into some story about her struggles to overcome being a beautiful model and being gorgeous and blah blah blah blah!! Shut up already! Not everything is about you lady! I watch her highlights on The Soup on E and it would drive me insane to have to deal with someone on a daily basis who turns every conversation into being about them. Her ‘interviews’ are really just her talking about herself and using the interviewee as a springboard to start one of her seemingly endless stories….
Ok, went off on a rant there about Tyra but you get my point…if you can’t carry a decent conversation and share and empathize on a human and interesting level, then I get bored real quick. If I want something to look at, I’ll take a picture, paint your portrait, etc. But I need more than an image…and in the end, physical beauty is transient, spiritual beauty lasts a lifetime.
Casual Sex or Clean Up in the Shoe Department February 26, 2009
Posted by glassowater in Friends, My Little Life, Rant, crazy, dreaming, geek, insomnia.Tags: body image, food, forgiveness, I'm a geek, life changing
8 comments
If I saw you, I wouldn’t be able to look you in the eye today.
I had a sex dream about you last night. There’s no way to be coy about it. No way to make it seem like something else. This wasn’t a cute romantic dream about holding hands, cuddled on the couch, watching movies with the occasional kissing and snuggling.
Nope.
This wasn’t that at all.
The dream began innocently enough. We were walking through the mall, talking about some new job you had. Apparently, in my dream, you can’t hold down a job and this was your latest career. I don’t remember the details but I think it had something to do with quality control at a university someplace, which really doesn’t make any sense. I mean seriously, what does “Quality Control” at a university really mean? I think my dream version of you is just making shit up…
As often happens in a dream, the scenery changed abruptly. First we had been walking through the food court area of the mall. Emo kids where strewn about everywhere, wearing their latest pre-fab uniforms from Hot Topic. Is it really emo and punk to hang out at the mall? Really? And why do you all look the same? Maybe it’s a product of getting old and being an old punk rocker, but kids these days, the ones who pretend to be so punk, they all look the same. Same skinny jeans, same ill-fitting shirts, same “Hot Topic” tags. I seriously cannot understand the concept of that store. Punk, at it’s core was and has always been a DIY experience and yet, if you want your musical and political statements pre-printed for you, here’s a store with all the essentials. For Fifty bucks, you too can look like a punk rocker or an emo kid! Way to go kids! Way to dumb it down even further…
Yeah, I do rant like that in my dreams too… J
But I digress…we were walking through the food court and suddenly we were at the entrance of JC Penney. You took my hand and smiled at me. For the first time, I noticed you were wearing a tight fitting t shirt that accentuated your frame rather lovingly. You caught me looking and poked me in the stomach.
“Come on,” you said. “We have to hurry. I have church in the morning.”
I smiled at you, thoroughly confused by this statement.
You pulled my hand and lead me through JC Penney. I was completely puzzled…even in my dreams, I’m absolutely clueless. You lead me through to the mens shoe department. Did you know that JC Penney has a new feature in their shoe department? I guess this must be standard in all their new stores. Apparently, they all have a secret door in the back that opens up right into my bedroom. I wasn’t aware of this new feature until you opened the door and dragged me through.
Surprisingly, I had remembered to make my bed and tidy up my room before I left for the day. In the dream, I must have more free time.
You wrapped your arms around me and kissed me. For a moment, I was melting. The world froze and I could feel the heat of your body against mine, the taste of your lips, your tongue. You pulled back suddenly. A devilish grin came across your face.
“You are too gentle.”
With that, I felt your foot scoop around the back of my legs, taking my feet out from under me and I crashed backwards onto the bed.
That’s when you pounced.
What transpired from there, I humbly must leave to your imagination. I can say that there was a whirlwind of activity, involving positions of all imaginings and even a few that were against the laws of nature and a few that I’m sure were illegal in several states. In the end, the bed was broken, the tv had a bed post through it, all the paintings on the walls were askew, the mattress was on the floor and you and I…you and I were in a broken sweaty heap on the floor. I was gasping for breath and you were giggling at me, half covered in one of my old t shirts. How did you find my old Cure Tour t shirt? I thought that was lost 20 years ago? I snuggled in with you and for a moment, for one quiet moment, I felt content.
You poked me in the belly again, teasing me about my weight.
“I have to go” you said “and you have to wake up.”
Thats when I heard my alarm.
For a few brief moments, in those milliseconds between sleep and smashing my alarm button, I could still feel the smoothness of your skin, the brush of your hair across my face and neck, the taste of you on my lips. Then you were gone. The illusion was broken and I woke up alone in my room. I looked towards the door to my bedroom half expecting to see the hustle and bustle of a JC Penney shoe department but I was disapointed to just see the hallway, my cat wandering towards me, demanding some attention.
I spent today wondering if I should tell you. How much is too much sharing when it comes to friends?. I know I’m only a friend. But part of me wants something more and I’m not sure how to reconcile that.
The dream was intense, playful and extremely x rated. There were things you did that I would never have expected from you. If I told you, would you have a good laugh with me about? Would we kid each other about positions we should have tried in the dream then just carry on as we always have? Would you recoil in horror or would you jokingly admit to having something of a similar dream? Would you be able to forgive my imaginations lack of discretion? Do you feel the same way? Or am I alone in this, deluded by my own overactive and undersexed libido? I’m happy being your friend, but is that all there is? I know it was only a dream and I know where my boundaries are, but part of me can’t wait to go to bed tonite and go shoe shopping again….
Another Interview, Another Challenge February 23, 2009
Posted by glassowater in Family, Friends, Lists, Lourds, Monhegan, My Little Life, Sirsy, dreaming, food, insomnia, photoblog, photography, vacation, work.Tags: food, life changing, Lourds, Music, omelette, powerball winner, recipes, route 66, Sirsy
6 comments
Trisha asked and I answered the call! And I really have to thank her because I needed something to write about and I am in a rut….
As you can see by this example, I’m more than adept at building houses out of available materials…
So after everyone in my family has been taken care of…and after I’ve quit my job…and after I’ve moved in to my new seaside villa…and after I’ve whipped myself into shape with my 24 hour on call personal trainer…and after I’ve taken care of my good friends needs…and after I’ve bought my friends bands new gear and funded their next album…and after I’ve set up a scholarship foundation for underprivileged art majors…after ALL of that, I would load up the car and fullfill a lifelong dream. I would drive out to Chicago and find Old Route 66 and drive cross country. I have a fascination with all the old kitschy stuff that cropped up along this once major highway that runs from Chicago all the way to Santa Monica. One of the purest joys in my life has always been just hopping my car and just driving and seeing all the old Americana, being able to experince a truly “American” experience (the fabled love affair with the automobile and all the road side attractions that helped build) and maybe writing a book about my experience or at the very least, do some photography and painting along the way. One thing I would have to add to this experience would be stopping along the way and visiting with the many amazing people I’ve met online over the years. 
I have to admit, the idea of being featured on a cooking show would definitely intrigue me. Whenever I cook for my friends, I have this tendency to talk out loud about what I’m doing and how I’m doing it, how long something takes to cook and how to properly dice something. Aparently, this is an unconscious habit that I do even when I’m alone. Ok, I know that sounds like I’m a little nutty, talking to myself while I cook, but you wouldn’t be reading this if you didn’t enjoy some of my eccentricities. 
Monhegan Island would be somewhere near the top of my list. I loved this place from the first moment I set foot on the island. I wrote about my first experience there here, here, here and here. That one experince made me a fan. Sadly, I’ve only been back there twice since and only on the same kind of day trips. Eventually, when I get the free time, I plan on spending alot more time there. It has long been a refuge for artists, the Wyeth family had a home there, Hopper painted here and countless other artists have immortalized this tiny little slice of heaven. Isolated as it is in the Gulf of Maine, it would take alot of committment to want to live there year round. A healthy love of all things seafood and a stronger set of sea legs would be a start. But the idea of living and breathing art for the rest of my life? Yeah, thats pretty tempting….And if I had a house on the island, I would want an ocean view (not hard to do on an island) with a large studio space custom built with huge bay windows facing the ocean. All the rest would be details, but a massive kitchen to cook and entertain in and of course my own mini movie theater. 
I think I would be the happiest man in the world if I could help my friends in Sirsy and Lourds. I would love nothing better than doing photography and and promotional work for them and helping in some small way. And I would definitely do this on breaks from living on Monhegan Island. 1. Leave me a comment saying, “Interview me.”
2. I will respond by emailing you five questions. I get to pick the questions.
3. You will update your blog with the answers to the questions.
4. You will include this explanation and an offer to interview someone else in the same post.
5. When others comment asking to be interviewed, you will ask them five questions.
A Teeni Interview February 15, 2009
Posted by glassowater in Friends, My Little Life, crazy, food, geek, insomnia, redhead, silly.Tags: cats, food, forgiveness, heartache, I'm a geek, life changing, My Little Life, questionaire, redheads, solitude
10 comments
Teeni asked. I answered.
1. Why did you cry on September 5?
Several years ago, on September 5th, I had a bad day. That was the day I had to admit defeat, wave a little white flag and end a 3 year relationship. I had never broken up with someone before. Usually, I’m the one being kicked to the curb, the one left with unreturned phone calls, empty dinner tables… But, for the first time, I was the one saying “We need to talk…”
I couldn’t stop crying afterwards. Felt like my heart had been ripped out, I couldn’t catch my breath and I had a ringing pounding headache for days afterward. I know I did the right thing (the situation had reached a stalemate/standstill that was never going to be resolved and I wasn’t willing to just blindly ignore all the problems and pretend to be happy) but that was the most difficult decision I have ever had to make. It broke my heart.
2. If you could open your own restaurant, what type of food would you serve and what type of clientele would you like to see enjoying your food there?
Oh what a great question! Anyone who reads my blog, knows I love to cook. I ran restaurants for years and the idea of opening my own place is a dream I would love to realize. I do alot of cooking for my friends and according to them, I should open up a restaurant of comfort foods, specializing in breakfast foods and diner staples. My friends are what you may call “stoners” and, even though they know I don’t smoke and I rarely drink, according to them, I’m a stoner at heart because of my cooking skills and the “strange” recipes I make up on the spot. Aparently, my cooking imagination has a stoner spirit.
A simple example: I made chocolate sundaes for everyone one night…I took some chocolate fudge bread from When Pigs Fly bakery (thick chocolate flavored bread with chunks of chocolate spread throughout) chopped into large chunks and toasted it all in the oven. The toasted chunks were tossed into a bowl, topped with ice cream, fruit, sauce and whipped cream. I would love to feature this recipe on a menu….and what would be the name of my “stoner” diner?
“4:20“, of course! For those not familiar with stoner culture, ask a stoner sometime what 420 means… Course the ultimate irony of this restaurant would be that a guy who doesn’t smoke pot at all was running it.
And I think a name like “4:20” would be vague enough so as not to alienate any other potential clientele. And I would specialize in big food, huge portions and outrageous recipes. Most of my menu would be high impact on the calories (no such thing as light french toast, you know) so I would need to bring in a partner to work on the lighter side….any takers??
3. Tell us a little bit about your pet cat.
Thomas is a great cat.
The cat I had before him was a refugee from an abused home. His name was Ebony and he loved the outdoors, only coming inside when it was raining or too cold, but even then, he made at least one daily jaunt outside. In his old home, he had obviously been abused. The first few months I had him, he refused to come near me. He would come in the house and sit in a corner meowing to himself. He was so skittish and seemed so upset all the time, didn’t know what to do. Finally, I spent a day with him and he came to me and jumped in my lap. After that, he was the perfect cat. He let me pick him up and he would curl up like a little baby in my arms. If I was working on the computer, he would jump up in the chair, climb to the top and warp himself around my neck and sleep with his head on my shoulder. I would wake up with him curled up on the pillow next to me. The ex used to hate that!
Poor Ebony. He loved the outdoors too much. He disapeared one night. I found signs of a struggle behind the house. Ebony’s black fur mixed with orange, red and white fur, tell tale signs of a fox. I was heartbroken.
For a year, I vowed I was done with pets. Then, I suddenly found myself wandering through the animal shelter. I don’t know what brought me there. I told the people working there that I was only looking. I walked into the cat room. There were 20 cats in there, all of varying colors and ages. I noticed a black short hair cat standing on a runner (carpeted ledge that ran the length of the wall). I smiled because he looked just like Ebony. The cat must have known I was looking at him because he came running towards me. The runner was right at head level for me. I was now face to face with this black cat. He was purring loudly. I reached out to pet him and he headbutted me right on the forehead. I laughed. I hadn’t picked out a cat, the cat had picked me.
I found out his name was Thomas, adopted him right then and took him home the next night. Thomas is not as overtly affectionate as Ebony was, but he is friendly with everyone and especially seems to adore me since I wake up almost every morning with him next to me or at the foot of my bed, waiting for me to click on the tv. He seems to be a big fan of the flickering images on the screen.
4. I peeked into your blog a bit and want to know under what circumstances were you kicked by a horse? There has to be a story here.
A friend of mine in high school had a barn we used to party in. The farm was fairly isolated and we would have bonfires outside and such and party rather loudly in the barn til the wee hours of the morning. On one such night, my friend G and I decided to taunt the horse that was stabled in the barn.
We were just being loud and obnoxious and being rather obliterated at the time, we were not thinking about the consequences of pissing off a large animal. The horse, after about an hour of us taunting and teasing it, decided he had enough of our foolishness. The horse turned around in it’s stall. We were leaning on the gate that had the horse locked in and I remember thinking that the horse was going to pee on us or something, so I started to step back when the horse suddenly kicked. The gate, as it turned out, had a rather flimsy lock on it. The lock broke and the door rocketed open with enough force to send us both flying across the barn. I had been moving away from the door but my friend G was hit full force by the door. He ended up with bruised ribs and a concussion. I smacked my head on a post a good 10 feet away and ended up with a huge knot on my head and some bruises all over. We were lucky that door was in the way of that kick….
5. Just what is it about redheads? Do ALL redheads, even the bottled ones, have the same appeal?
I really think my fascination with redheads started when I was a little kid. My first kiss in kindergarten was with a redhead. Ok, strawberry blonde, but still….
Bottled or natural, red hair has always caught my attention. I can spot a redhead at 100 yards. And yes, I have actually stepped onto the wrong train in Boston when I was distracted by someone with red hair. Not to mention the times I’ve almost crashed my car due to redhead distractions.
As fascinated as I have been by redheads, I have only ever dated the bottled variety. The natural redheads have always eluded me. Sadly every redhead relationship has ended in disaster. Usually I’m being dumped and discarded by the redheads in my life. And recently, I have even been used and abused by redheads. Despite all this, I still find myself looking, still find myself drooling a little. I still can’t tell you why… Maybe I have a masochistic relationship with the idea of redheads: no matter how badly I’m treated, I keep going back for more…
Hmm…wonder if theres a blond or brunette out there to distract me from the redheads….heehee. Actually, I can think of at least one…but thats a blog for another another time…..
So, do you want to be interviewed? Here are the rules:
1. Leave me a comment saying, “Interview me.”
2. I will respond by emailing you five questions. I get to pick the questions.
3. You will update your blog with the answers to the questions.
4. You will include this explanation and an offer to interview someone else in the same post.
5. When others comment asking to be interviewed, you will ask them five questions.
Edited to Add: I was lazy and found all these pics on Photobucket. To my shame, I realized I don’t have any pictures of my cat, so instead of finding him when I wrote this and taking his picture and uploading it, I blatantly stole some pics from Photobucket instead…sorry, should have added this note to begin with. I take no credit for any of these pictures….I love that horse pic though!
