So tonite, I wandered into the one place I dread going to: The Mall. When I was a teenager growing up, we used to go to the mall all the time, since, well, this is NH, there was nothing else to do. Even young punk rockers had to hang someplace, and wandering the mall and harassing mall cops was the thing to do. Now, the older I get, the more I detest the place.
First is the parking situation at the mall. Our mall has its own road that loops the entire mall complex, linking it to another outlet mall and movie theater next door. It is double laned and aparently, people mistake it for a REAL road. I pull into the mall innocently looking for a parking space, and mario andretti comes barrelling up behind me doing 80! It was cold tonite and the mall was jammed so I ended up parking in another time zone and hiking in from the farthest corners of the parking lot.
I know this is a sign of getting old, but the kids hanging around the doorways (the same way we used to, so long ago) really annoy me. The posturing, the posing, the obvious disdain for someone who wants to walk INTO the mall through what they consider to be their private space.
Now, when I walk into the mall, unless I’m really in the mood to meander from store to store, I usually have a game plan. I know exactly where I need to go and make a bee line for it. Tonite’s agenda: Hallmark! So as soon as I get into the mall, past the glaring young’ns, I walk straight for the card store, convinced this will be a quick visit. Instead, I get stuck behind an amoebic mass of people doing the mall walk, you know the mall walk, the way one walks when they are hopelessly lost, confused or looking for an address. And there was no ooportunity to get around or through them, suddenly, I’m sucked into this enormous mass of people clogging up the throughways of the mall. Finally, we get to the hallmark store and I break away from them.
I have always enjoyed buying the shoebox cards from hallmark, they are all cute and some are a little rude. Kinda like me…:) So I spend the next 20 minutes finding the right cards for everyone on my list, pay up and make it out back into the mall just in time to head off the amoebic mass of people who had aparently bounced off the far end of the mall and had managed to morph their way back to the hallmark store. I managed to be two steps ahead of them and hoofed it to my car as fast as possible.
I made it all the way out to my car and was driving away when I realized, I need to go back to the mall tomorrow….I forgot to buy any presents……