One Liners, Odd Thoughts and the Beginning of a Story

For a few weeks now, I have been doing alot of reading. I read your blogs, I devour news sites and even managed to finish a book. But why can’t I sit down and just write? I have been keeping track of my own personal interior dialogue, taking some of my own advice and writing down everything. But I can’t make things come together, each thought sits on it’s own, completely detached from my other thoughts. Usually I can find the little threads that bring them together and I can find a story….but not today, not this week.

Here is a small selection of the randomness that I have recorded over the past few weeks.

– This is an order line for a steam cleaner, not xbox 360. I can see how these two things get confused so easily, but let me assure you that you have the wrong number. And no, I don’t have their number, go look it up yourself and stop wasting my time. (the call center I work at part time gets some interesting characters….)

– I find my passion for National Public Radio is sorely tested during any long, tedious fund drive.

– She told me I was the best kisser she had ever met and then proceeded to break up with me. That was the strangest break up I ever had.

– I had a stalker for six months back in 2000. We went out a few times, but things really didn’t click and I thought that was it. But over the next sixth months, I would come home and find a note in my door. It was always in a blue envelope on some flowery stationery and it was all about…nothing. Just little details about her day. I found out from neighbors that aparently, while I was at work, she would sit for hours in my driveway. I finally ran into her in downtown Portsmouth and politely asked her to stop. We talked over coffee. I handed her an envelope filled with all her notes. She snatched them out of my hands and ran from the coffee shop, hiding her tears with the sleeve of her jacket. Sitting alone with two half finished cups of coffee, I felt like such an asshole…..

– The first time I ever saw the Ramones perform was at the MUB at the University of NH. Downstairs in the MUB, there was a game room with pool tables, bowling alley and video games. Before the gig, my friends and I went down to spend some quality time playing Double Dragon, a game I was always damn good at. My friends walked away after exhausting their quarter supplies. Playing alone, I heard a voice behind me say, “Mind If I join in?”. I looked up….it was Joey Fucking RAMONE!!! So for the next 20 minutes, I played Double Dragon with Joey Ramone. I can’t tell you anything else about that night, all I remember was hanging with Joey.

– Nazi skinheads in white tophats and tails trying to assassinate Barack Obama. That is the most ridiculous thing I have ever heard. I don’t know whether to be angry at the white supremacist scum who cooked up the idea or the media, who gave these little piles of excrement airtime to appear on national news outlets and helping to spread their message of hate. Shame on you all! This should have disapeared as quickly as it appeared, but yet again, the news media jumps all over a ‘race’ story. And by glorifying a story like this, you outline and define what divides us in this country, in a time when we should be celebrating what brings us together. The political process is a sacred thing for me and seeing it smeared with outrageous stories like this that distract from the issues at hand just degrades the whole process and all those who sully their hands with this story.

– I have a secret. A ray of sunshine. A hope. I have a secret and I’m keeping it close, keeping it warm and keeping it safe. Edited on 11/15/08 – Fuck secrets and fuck the people who insist on them. I’m done with that bullshit.

And now, an outline for a graphic novel or novel that I have in mind:

This is an idea I have had floating around in my brain for awhile. It’s a lot more detailed in my notes and I’m leaving out alot of the satirical details but you get the idea from this short blurb.

Loki, the norse god of mischief, deceit and lies, escapes his eternal prison and emerges into a 21st century world to find that he is regarded as a myth. Despondant that humans have forgotten him, he journeys to the halls of Asgard, to try to wreck havoc anew with his old sparring partners among the gods.

Upon reaching Bifrost, the rainbow bridge that leads to Asgard, he finds the gaurdian Heimdall asleep infront of a makeshift gate. A sign reading “Do Not Disturb” lies across the gate, looking old, tattered and worn. Crossing the bridge, Loki finds Asgard frozen in ice and all the gods asleep.

With nobody to play with, the god of mischeif grows bored. Sitting in front of a tv in a bar in Boston, as he watches the final minutes of a senatorial debate, an idea comes to mind. Soon, in a whirlwind of events so convoluted, only an incredibly resourceful god of mischief could make it happen, he finds himself running for president of the United States. As Loki’s popularity grows and grows, something strange happens: people believe in him again and drawing power from this new form of worship from his followers, Loki’s confidence grows, his influence spreads. Suddenly, a rumor spreads on conservative talk radio that he is actually something called the anti-Christ, the beast, one who will unite the world under one banner. Not seeing anything wrong with this, he allows this belief to spread. Thats when things start to go to hell.

Because people have mistaken a real god as the ultimate power of evil in the world, his power grows and strange events start happening around the world: all of the end of times stories from all the major mythologies around the world suddenly and frighteningly come to life! Fires in the sky, blood in the oceans, walking dead, beasts rising from the oceans, tidal waves, floods, earthquakes, all with immense power strike across the world. As he is being sworn in as President and firedemons and frost giants descend upon the mall in washington DC, loki realizes his error and sets out on a quest to awaken all the gods and to set things right. His help along the way is a certain recently ressurrected son of a carpenter with a pissed off attitude and an irrational fear of crosses……

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7 responses to “One Liners, Odd Thoughts and the Beginning of a Story

  1. I’d buy that for a dollar. 😛 Good to see up and writing. You got some good stuff here. Good points, good rambling, good story idea. I hope you have a Happy Halloween. Keep it coming. I want to read that story. Please make it a graphic novel. 😉 AWESOME!

    I just love a good anti-hero and making Loki into into a reluctant world saver just has alot of potential…and making Jesus his sidekick, I know a few people who won’t like that, but it’s a comic angle I like: Jesus becomes this angry second banana to this thieving, lying old norse god who has fooled the people into electing him president. I have dialogue written out where they argue who represents the good of the people more. One part I still need to flesh out comes from an old Sam Kinison joke: Jesus confronting a group of chistians and asking them “The cross?? Really?? Really? Thats what you choose to worship me with??? Did it ever occur to you people that when I did finally come back that maybe I might want to avoid seeing them? What makes you think I would ever want to see a fucking cross ever again? Do you know how much that hurt? Oh and don’t even get me started about the scourging beforehand…..”

  2. So all I can say is WOW.Stuning novel,you should really write it. I would be really interested in readint it all.I just love a good sarcastic novel with a spice of mythology in it. Also great to hear from you because your posts were missed 🙂 .

    Thanks! I wish I knew a comic book artist to help me flesh out the idea. I can storyboard a few sequences, but I’m more of painter and not the greatest illustrator…

  3. I’m in the same spot, reading like a fiend, thoughts running amok- nothing feels relative, or like it could even remotely come together. I have not been writing shit. But, I liked this random post, it’s good that you write stuff down! 🙂

    Hey, your secret sounds pretty good. Your story sounds even better! Don’t tell me your secret, no matter how tempted you are (c’mon spill it) CUZ i GOT A REALLY BIG MOUTH! Do you have facebook? Lemme know Glass!

    JQ! Rockin my blog! Nope, the secret stays with me….
    and yes, I do have Facebook…. email me and I’ll link you

  4. Is this for real? – “I had a stalker for six months back in 2000. We went out a few times, but things really didn’t click and I thought that was it. But over the next sixth months, I would come home and find a note in my door. It was always in a blue envelope on some flowery stationery and it was all about…nothing. Just little details about her day. I found out from neighbors that aparently, while I was at work, she would sit for hours in my driveway. I finally ran into her in downtown Portsmouth and politely asked her to stop. We talked over coffee. I handed her an envelope filled with all her notes. She snatched them out of my hands and ran from the coffee shop, hiding her tears with the sleeve of her jacket. Sitting alone with two half finished cups of coffee, I felt like such an asshole…..”

    Wow. Can I have permission to tell my side of the story?

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