Thrift Store Heart

tell_me_something

Crossroads.

I find myself here, staring across the expanse and wondering how I got here. A lonely road, converging with another. Staring in four directions, not sure which one to take. I planted my heart here at this intersection, hoping to watch it grow and perhaps catch the attention of another on their journey. I’ve seen the headlights in the distance, but they always seem to turn off before they reach me. I built a home here, I built stability and constance hoping the lights of hearth and home would bring you to me. I filled the intersection with cars, music, art, travel, more books than anyone could ever want. Philosophy, arts and science on one corner, a warm kitchen, a comfy couch and bottles of wine on another. All this I made, all this I built. All in the hope of meeting you. And here I wait.

Part of me thinks it’s time. Time to tear it all down, pack it all up in a U-Haul and move on down the road, away from this lonely, quiet intersection. I look at what I have built, the life I have chosen and realize no matter how much I have here, no matter how much I invest in here, it all means nothing without you. That destructive and spontaneous part of me considers lighting a match, watching it all burn and take the well worn road and try to find that turn off where I see your headlights go. Give up. Ignore my accomplishments. Ignore my pride. Ignore me. Leave my crossroads like a turn of the century mill town: slowly rotting and falling apart.

But….

I can’t do that. Too many responsibilities, too many attachments. So I repair the buildings here: a new roof for my income, a new car for my ego. The kitchen is a little more crowded than I like, the couch a little lumpier than I like, but I make do with what I have. Maybe it’s time to open a little thrift store and it’s time to sell off some aspects of my little life here. Maybe, less is more. And maybe, just maybe, while I’m tending shop at my new store, I will finally meet you. Then this little crossroad won’t feel so desolate.

I planted my heart here hoping it would bring you to me. Now I realize that I have to be willing to uproot my heart and break away from my routines if I ever want a hope of meeting you. But everything comes in baby steps and a thrift store, selling off the gently used aspects of my heart will help ease into that uprooting. I’m ready, I’m willing. The shops open.

Where are you?

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9 responses to “Thrift Store Heart

  1. Absolutely beautiful metaphor.
    I would visit that thrift store in a heartbeat.
    But, after all, I do most of my “shopping” in places that others never notice.
    That’s where one finds the most precious of treasures.

    Thanks for your words…you remind me to be thankful for what I have and what I need to work for 🙂

  2. I hope you find what will make you most happy. I love that you are willing to be flexible – that’s the only way for it to happen. Hugs to you!

    I’ve come to realize that I have to be able to let everything go if I ever want a little happiness…it’s that willingness to lose it all that I need to work on…I’m too comfortable, too set in my ways

  3. you write so beautifully and with such an open heart…I know that much goodness must be meant for someone! 😉

    Honestly, I wish I could be that optimistic. I’ve always thought if I put out good karma, they will come…to coin a phrase…
    But now, just at a stage where I know what I want and everytime I think I find it…well, it’s not what I thought…

  4. This was beautiful.

    I wrote on this topic just today, but just a bit further down from the intersection.

    Your true love is out there. I know it.

    Take it from someone who waited 37 years. And, poof! There he was.

    I’m just coming up on year 37 (march 10th) and I just wish there was a glimmer of hope. But right now, working two jobs and busting my buns for all the stuff in my life, I kinda find myself giving up hope a little…but the comments on here have re-invigorated me… I keep hearing how my soulmate will pop up any day now, just around the next corner or barstool or hiking trail…I just hope she’s looking for me too…

  5. I thought I was the only one who said stuff like this and wondered if that someone and I would find each other. I’m glad it’s not just me. I guess we’ve both been passengers on the same train for a while. Time to find a different train with a new destination. 🙂

    At least I’m keeping good company on this train… When you swap trains, let me know…I wanna come with… 🙂

  6. Beautifully said. I totally understand what you’re saying and I can so relate. Thank you. Sheer poetry.

    Thank you for your kind words! I’m leaning towards packing up and moving on right now… 🙂

  7. That was beautiful.. full of lifes passion..
    Believe in your heart.

    Thank you so much. My heart is a little irrational lately…. But I know it means well…. 🙂

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