My friend Shweta over at Spazztastically Untitled challenged me with yet another interview and I was more than happy to oblige.
1. Which celeb would you be with under these conditions. You can choose from Salyma Hayek’s Balloon boobs popped down to a size double AA, or from Alyson Hannigan shaved all her beautiful red locks off.
Without a doubt, I would choose Alyson Hannigan. From what I have seen of her in interviews and such, she just seems very genuine and sweet and the lack of hair would not diminish those attributes. Salma Hayek on the other hand, my general impression of her as someone who is very wrapped up in her own ego. She seems to have a decent sense of humor (hell, she was in a Kevin Smith movie) but I get the impression that’s a front for her image. She strikes me as someone who may be very cold and rather snobbish. Ms Hannigan just seems so charming, the kind of person who can walk into a room and win everyone over with her smile alone. Ok, that’s a bit sappy, but her smile wins me over every time….
2. We have all experienced being hit on in a strange way, what’s the strangest way you’ve been hit on, or craziest thing you’ve done to get noticed by someone?
I’m not good at noticing when I’m actually being hit on. I’m kinda clueless when someone is giving me a hint that they like me. You basically have to either hit me over the head with something or hop in my lap half naked before it dawns on me “Hmmm, I think she likes me….”
The strangest thing I ever did to get someone to notice me? I can honestly say I’ve never done anything too strange. When I was in college, I would dedicate songs to someone on my show, hoping they were listening…but that was more embarrassing than strange. I’ll have to work on that and start plotting out strange and unusual ways to get someones attention. I’ll get back to you.
3. What were the cirucumstances surrounding the time you had a gun to your head?
Hmmmm…not sure how to approach this. When I was just out of high school, I made a lot of decisions that involved people that, in retrospect, I probably shouldn’t have been involved with. Drug dealers, gang members, etc. People that I somehow became involved with and just as quickly as they entered my life and things in my life went a little crazy.
A ‘friend’ offered me some money and some free weed if I went and delivered something for him. Stupidly I accepted. I was met at the door by a pleasant gentleman, who invited me in. As I entered, I was knocked face first into the floor. Laying there, someone behind the door put his knee in my back and held a gun to the side of my face. The pleasant gentleman began to inspect the package I brought with me and instructed the man with the knee in my back to blow my nuts off if everything wasn’t there. I now had a gun stuck in my crotch. Everything seemed to be in order with the package, I was helped to my feet. Another bag was tossed to me and I was shoved out the door. Only when I was on the road again did I notice I had pissed my pants.
My ‘friend’ apologized to me, saying he didn’t know that was going to happen. I threw his ‘free weed’ in his face and left. That was the last time I saw any of those people. I went back to college and completely disassociated myself from that whole crowd. That whole year of my life was a big mistake and I hope nobody thinks less of me for it. I was young, extremely stupid and very naïve.
4. What’s a memory from your childhood that stands out?
After my father passed away, my mom took me and my sister Pam to Disney World. We drove down from NH and I remember the drive down rather vividly. And Disney world was such a blast! I remember every ride! Dumbo, The Haunted Mansion, TeacCups, all of it stands out in my memory. There is a great picture of me in a child stroller just completely and totally wiped out from day with my little mickey mouse hat on. I was exhausted and sore and it was the best day ever!
5. If you were stranded on an Island(I had to do an island question) with three supermodels…would you find a way to leave? If you had sufficient shelter/food/cable rigged to your island, of course, 😉
You know, I have said this before and I will say it again: Anyone can look good. Anyone can be physically attractive and sexy in their own right. But that only goes so far. Sooner or later, you have to talk to these people and if I have no interest in whats coming out of their mouths, than it doesn’t matter how beautiful they are. I have a feeling that most models are not members of mensa nor do they share most of my oddball interests in life, so I hate to say it but I think after a few days or weeks watching them lounge around the beaches in their skimpy bikinis, I honestly think I would reach a level of annoyance that I would have to get my ass out of their. And if one of those models was Tyra Banks, I would insist on some duct tape to tape that mouth of hers shut so I wouldn’t have to listen to her constantly talk about herself and turn every little conversation into some story about her struggles to overcome being a beautiful model and being gorgeous and blah blah blah blah!! Shut up already! Not everything is about you lady! I watch her highlights on The Soup on E and it would drive me insane to have to deal with someone on a daily basis who turns every conversation into being about them. Her ‘interviews’ are really just her talking about herself and using the interviewee as a springboard to start one of her seemingly endless stories….
Ok, went off on a rant there about Tyra but you get my point…if you can’t carry a decent conversation and share and empathize on a human and interesting level, then I get bored real quick. If I want something to look at, I’ll take a picture, paint your portrait, etc. But I need more than an image…and in the end, physical beauty is transient, spiritual beauty lasts a lifetime.