Vacation is Coming

suitcase

 

In three weeks, I will finally be going on a vacation. I know what you are saying: “George, you work two jobs, how can you swing a whole week off?”

The answer is easy: just don’t give a shit.

I need some time to myself. Some time to re-evaluate my little life. Been so wrapped up in making money and taking care of family business that I have completely lost touch with what I really want. I’m not one to avoid introspection, but for some reason, despite my best efforts, I have lost touch with the things that matter to me.

I know the biggest reason for this is my work schedule. For those who don’t know, allow me to explain.

Since September 2008, I have had two jobs. My full time job is with a car dealership. I work there from 45-65 hours a week. They provide full healthcare, 401k, dental, etc. The job is very stable despite the climate out there in the car business. I may bitch about this job alot. I may complain about my co-workers and their lack of interest in anything other than sports and naked women, but it’s a good job. I’m the lynch-pin of the dealership and I love that responsibility. I don’t think I get recognized enough for what I do here, but that is a subject for another blog.

Since September, I joined up at a call center. The original plan was to have this job part time to help offset the cost of oil for the winter since it was looking very scary. Then oil went way down….and thats when I made the mistake of looking at my 401k. Just like everybody else out there, I was seeing diminishing returns. So my friends talked me into joining them at this call center. The calls come in, you take the call, fill out the order, upsell what you can and thats it. Easy right? Easy, but nerve racking. The problem with the part time is I am required to do 20 hours a week there to maintain my part time status.

So lets do the math: on a slow week, I am doing a minimum of 65 hours and on a busy week, I’m doing 85.  Thats eighty five hours of work that leaves very little time for a social life, working out or even vital little things…like sleeping!  Let’s not even get started on spare time to work on a painting, go hiking. The best I can do is a nice long drive along the coast between shifts….

I have been justifying this self torture for one reason: I’m not seeing anyone. Since I’m not dating, might as well make as much money as possible. The rebuttal to my position is: “Well, if you didn’t work so much, maybe you WOULD meet someone.” It’s a never ending cycle. I’ve also come to realize that my position, working my ass off because I have nobody in my life, is the passive position. And if I keep taking this position, a non participatory role in my own dating life, crap like what just happened to me will keep happening and I’ll forever be heartbroken and miserable.

Oh, thats right….I never told you about the last month and half of stupidity that re-entered my life. I guess I never wrote about it because I felt like I had been used. Another redhead pulled the wool over my eyes. Thats not exactly true. She didn’t pull the wool over my eyes so much as I did it myself. Just wanted to believe everything she said was true. But no, it was a lie, just like before. Oh yeah, there was a before to this story too, which is why I should have seen how it would all end. But sadly, my heart dove in face first and ran merrily away without me. Now he’s broken, shattered really. And no, I won’t go into detail. Would rather keep it vague and not name names.

But if I didn’t work so much, if I had some kind of a life, maybe I could have seen her coming a mile away and told her to go to hell like I should have rather than going along with things simply out of conveniance. And conveniance is never a reason to start a relationship with someone.

So thats why I need this vacation. I need it so I can step outside of myself and my life. I need new priorities and new objectives. And most of all, need a new plan for my little life. I need to be a better friend to those who care about me. I need to be true to myself and stop compromising so much of my life. And I need to make myself available, so when she finally does walk into my life, I won’t be so busy that I hardly notice her and miss the chance of a lifetime.

Vacation is coming and with it comes a lot of change. I think I’m ready.

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15 responses to “Vacation is Coming

  1. You, my dear, sound like you NEED a vacation. Lots of people need and deserve vacations, but it seems like if you don’t get of your life for a little while then you’ll forget who you are. And trust me, it’s never a good idea to forget who you are because it takes way too long to put yourself back together. Enjoy your vacation. I’m sorry your heart got broken. Let me know if there is anything I can do (I’m sure I’ll be a whole lotta help all the way in Chicago, but I’m offering anyway).

    Thank you, my friend. Frustration in my little life has left me feeling a little drained and useless. I’m hoping a week off from everything will make i better…I hope

  2. Ahhh the joy of a vacation!

    Nothing to do but nothing that is if you stay home to veg. Many times a vacation is more hectic than work, you need work to recover from the vacation. Talk about irony..lol

    Hope you do something that relaxes you, even if its just a stroll on the beach, which makes me green with envy at that thought.

    Karen

    Hey there Karen…yeah, the beach is just down the road from here…I definitely plan on strolling through some sand in my spare time.

  3. Rest and regroup… hope you enjoy a well-earned break from the hassles in your life.

    It’s not that I have hassles in my life, it’s that I allow things to reach a point where they become a hassle…does that make sense??

  4. Where on Earth do you find all these “lying” redheads?
    Quit it!
    Yeah, you definitely deserve a vacation.
    Never get so busy making a living that you forget to make a life.

    I’m sorry Lea, I just can’t seem to meet a redhead that measures up to your standards…instead, I get the batshit crazy ones who lie right to my face, like this last one. Maybe I need to ignore hair color and meet a nice blonde or brunette…
    and yeah, work has completely interrupted anything resembling a life….

  5. A nice restful, relaxing vacation is exactly what you need and I’m glad you’re going to do it! I’m really sorry to hear about the girl. Life just sucks at times but I hope the week off will help.

    Thanks Miss Nandango! 🙂 I’m glad I’m going to take a week and just do whatever…there are folks I would love to visit, but I think for this vacation, I may just do day trips…
    As for the “Girl”, like I said, it’s my own fault, nobody to blame but myself…

  6. I work two jobs too and it sucks. Long story short, I’m bad with money, and I’m paying for it. I don’t work nearly as long as you do, though (just 50/wk) but that’s enough to make me feel like life is passing me by! Go to the beach, my friend!

    Tomorrow afternoon, I fully intend on walking the beach with my camera, maybe get a a little sun and try not to get scorched… 🙂 The long hours are killing me, but as you said, I’m bad with money too, or at least I used to be until I got everything all paid off and now I’m trying to build myself a nice buffer/nestegg…. 🙂

    As an aside, I can attest, personally, that not all redheads are liars. 🙂 I think the proportion of liars is the same across all hair color groups, in both genders. (Though if I were to go by my own experience, I’d assert that all men are cheating a-holes, and intellectually, I know that’s not fair to men.)

    I intend on being fair to everyone in my life and not judge them by their hair color. As you may have seen in some of my older posts, red hair actually gets preferential treatment from me, although the last few weeks made me want to um, re-evaluate that position… 🙂 But it’s all good….I know not all redheads are like the craziness I have encountered.

    And although not all men are assholes, we can all be pricks sometimes…

  7. Glassowater and Groundy,
    I cannot put my finger on it, but something is inspiring me to say the following:
    If you two have not met in person, you need to.
    I’m just sayin’.
    There’s healing to be had.
    And even though this is just blog land, sometimes it takes a stranger to point out the things we might miss between the words.
    Groundy, do you have red in your hair?

    Oh my God! I am so presumptuous, huh?

  8. Yikes!!! hope you pick somewhere good to Vacation!! I am probably going to find my answer in the next blog entry you wrote just now….soooo I shouls stop typing this commentt nowwwwww

  9. I have the opposite problem–I’m always available! With women, I’m the unluckiest man I know. I think I know why. I become sexually attracted right away, that’s not unusual for a man. But I also become emotionally attached right away. And this scares the hell out of women! I’ve never had a relationship that lasted more than three months. So I’ve never really had a girlfriend (not to mention a fiance or wife).

    What I’ve found, from experience, is that women are most attracted to indifference. In the past few years, I’ve made some progress. Finding a girlfriend is no longer my primary goal, in social situations.
    It is simply enjoying the company of other people. (And, living alone, I need a “people-fix” as often as possible.) Still, I desire a female companion more than anything else in my life–I will probably never achieve complete indifference (though that wouldn’t be healthy anyway).

    The glass is still half-empty, in this area of my life–and at age 43, I’m running out of the remaining water.

    My dad dismisses this loneliness. But he’s no one to do so–because he’s been married to my mom since 1951.

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