One Liners, Odd Thoughts and the Beginning of a Story

For a few weeks now, I have been doing alot of reading. I read your blogs, I devour news sites and even managed to finish a book. But why can’t I sit down and just write? I have been keeping track of my own personal interior dialogue, taking some of my own advice and writing down everything. But I can’t make things come together, each thought sits on it’s own, completely detached from my other thoughts. Usually I can find the little threads that bring them together and I can find a story….but not today, not this week.

Here is a small selection of the randomness that I have recorded over the past few weeks.

– This is an order line for a steam cleaner, not xbox 360. I can see how these two things get confused so easily, but let me assure you that you have the wrong number. And no, I don’t have their number, go look it up yourself and stop wasting my time. (the call center I work at part time gets some interesting characters….)

– I find my passion for National Public Radio is sorely tested during any long, tedious fund drive.

– She told me I was the best kisser she had ever met and then proceeded to break up with me. That was the strangest break up I ever had.

– I had a stalker for six months back in 2000. We went out a few times, but things really didn’t click and I thought that was it. But over the next sixth months, I would come home and find a note in my door. It was always in a blue envelope on some flowery stationery and it was all about…nothing. Just little details about her day. I found out from neighbors that aparently, while I was at work, she would sit for hours in my driveway. I finally ran into her in downtown Portsmouth and politely asked her to stop. We talked over coffee. I handed her an envelope filled with all her notes. She snatched them out of my hands and ran from the coffee shop, hiding her tears with the sleeve of her jacket. Sitting alone with two half finished cups of coffee, I felt like such an asshole…..

– The first time I ever saw the Ramones perform was at the MUB at the University of NH. Downstairs in the MUB, there was a game room with pool tables, bowling alley and video games. Before the gig, my friends and I went down to spend some quality time playing Double Dragon, a game I was always damn good at. My friends walked away after exhausting their quarter supplies. Playing alone, I heard a voice behind me say, “Mind If I join in?”. I looked up….it was Joey Fucking RAMONE!!! So for the next 20 minutes, I played Double Dragon with Joey Ramone. I can’t tell you anything else about that night, all I remember was hanging with Joey.

– Nazi skinheads in white tophats and tails trying to assassinate Barack Obama. That is the most ridiculous thing I have ever heard. I don’t know whether to be angry at the white supremacist scum who cooked up the idea or the media, who gave these little piles of excrement airtime to appear on national news outlets and helping to spread their message of hate. Shame on you all! This should have disapeared as quickly as it appeared, but yet again, the news media jumps all over a ‘race’ story. And by glorifying a story like this, you outline and define what divides us in this country, in a time when we should be celebrating what brings us together. The political process is a sacred thing for me and seeing it smeared with outrageous stories like this that distract from the issues at hand just degrades the whole process and all those who sully their hands with this story.

– I have a secret. A ray of sunshine. A hope. I have a secret and I’m keeping it close, keeping it warm and keeping it safe. Edited on 11/15/08 – Fuck secrets and fuck the people who insist on them. I’m done with that bullshit.

And now, an outline for a graphic novel or novel that I have in mind:

This is an idea I have had floating around in my brain for awhile. It’s a lot more detailed in my notes and I’m leaving out alot of the satirical details but you get the idea from this short blurb.

Loki, the norse god of mischief, deceit and lies, escapes his eternal prison and emerges into a 21st century world to find that he is regarded as a myth. Despondant that humans have forgotten him, he journeys to the halls of Asgard, to try to wreck havoc anew with his old sparring partners among the gods.

Upon reaching Bifrost, the rainbow bridge that leads to Asgard, he finds the gaurdian Heimdall asleep infront of a makeshift gate. A sign reading “Do Not Disturb” lies across the gate, looking old, tattered and worn. Crossing the bridge, Loki finds Asgard frozen in ice and all the gods asleep.

With nobody to play with, the god of mischeif grows bored. Sitting in front of a tv in a bar in Boston, as he watches the final minutes of a senatorial debate, an idea comes to mind. Soon, in a whirlwind of events so convoluted, only an incredibly resourceful god of mischief could make it happen, he finds himself running for president of the United States. As Loki’s popularity grows and grows, something strange happens: people believe in him again and drawing power from this new form of worship from his followers, Loki’s confidence grows, his influence spreads. Suddenly, a rumor spreads on conservative talk radio that he is actually something called the anti-Christ, the beast, one who will unite the world under one banner. Not seeing anything wrong with this, he allows this belief to spread. Thats when things start to go to hell.

Because people have mistaken a real god as the ultimate power of evil in the world, his power grows and strange events start happening around the world: all of the end of times stories from all the major mythologies around the world suddenly and frighteningly come to life! Fires in the sky, blood in the oceans, walking dead, beasts rising from the oceans, tidal waves, floods, earthquakes, all with immense power strike across the world. As he is being sworn in as President and firedemons and frost giants descend upon the mall in washington DC, loki realizes his error and sets out on a quest to awaken all the gods and to set things right. His help along the way is a certain recently ressurrected son of a carpenter with a pissed off attitude and an irrational fear of crosses……

A meme for Maleesha

“Some people ask “Why Llamas?” And I always say “Why Not?”


Maleesha tagged me for this little MEME. Please feel free to steal it for yourself if you like it….

The rules of the game:

RULE #1 : People who have been tagged must write their answers on their blogs and replace any question that they dislike with a new question formulated by themselves.

RULE #2 : Tag 6 people to do this quiz and they cannot refuse. These people must state who they were tagged by and cannot tag the person whom they were tagged by continue this game by sending it to other people.

Disclaimer:  I did not write these rules, and Teeni did not write these rules…whoever did write these rules needs to “pop a Xanax” as a certain fellow blogger would say.

1. If your lover betrayed you, what will your reaction be?

Well, this is a hard question. Define betrayal.  Slept with someone else? Plotted evil things with other aquaintences of mine to bring about my downfall and somehow get her hands on family fortune while my evil twin with the eyepatch and the scar schemes to take advantage of her as well? Hmmm…I think I watch too many soap operas….

2. If you have a dream you’d like to come true, what is it?

The one where I’m alone in a cabin for a week with Tori Amos, Shirley Manson and  Salma Hayek would be pretty sweet.

3. Whose butt would you like to kick?

My Gut. See this post.

4. What would you do with a billion dollars?

*whoosh* Thats the sound of me packing my bags, booking my flight and heading for parts unknown……

5. Will your best friend always be your best friend?

I have alot of friends but only a few are what one would call the best. They can disapear for a year or more but when we get together, it’s like no time has passed…

6. Have you ever been in love with two people at once?

Do my little crushes on various rocker chicks count?? If not, then no. I believe that one thing has to end before something else can begin….

7. How long would you wait for someone you really loved?

One year, 12 days and four hours….after that, all bets are off baby!

8. If you won the lottery, would you quit your job?

again, I refer you to the *whooooshing* sound

9. Who is on your celebrity top 5…you know, the ones…that if you ever had an opportunity…

I already answered that HERE!

10. What sucks the life out of you?

The price of oil, salesmen I can not even pretend to relate to and working two jobs and realizing I’m not making any headway.

11. How would you see yourself in ten years time?

I’ll still use a mirror.  That’s usually the way I see myself. (great answer Maleesha)

12. What’s your greatest fear/phobia?

Being alone and never finding that special connection with someone…oh wait, thats my life now…dammit, I’m living my fear…

13. What kind of person do you think the person who tagged you is?

She is a sweetheart and I’m hoping I can swindle some home made pickles from her. 🙂

14. Would you rather be single and rich or married but poor?

Been counting the pennies my whole life, so being married and poor would not scare me. However, you can have alot of fun with a country estate on 200 acres of land.

15. What’s the first thing you do when you wake up?

Trip over the cat, make coffee, fight the urge to go back to bed.

16. Would you give all in a relationship?

Give all? Are we playing poker and you weren’t sure how to say “All-In”??? When I’m in a relationship, I’m 100% focused on my significant other. But I would never lose myself or my identity to someone. Click here to read about me actually putting my neck on the line in a relationship.

17. Is your career vitally important to you?

Only for bills…I have no love for my career and if I found something that paid equally but took me away from here, I would be just as happy if not happier.

18. Would you forgive and forget no matter how horrible a thing the someone has done?

There are some people that push the boundaries. (See This Post) And sometimes, you just have to walk away to save yourself. But with good friends who have proven themselves time and again, I will always forgive and forget.

19. Do you prefer being single or having a relationship?

I think I’m ready for a relationship of some kind…I’m ready for someone to laugh with, smile with and maybe even find love with…I’m ready…maybe I’m not willing, but I AM ready…

Single has it’s perks but I miss having someone in my little life

20. List 6 people to tag

I hope everyone tries out this little Meme.






Peter Parkour

And if I didn’t tag you, feel free to do it anyway. 🙂