Are you there Gut? It’s me, George

Listen, we need to talk. I know how comfortable you have been over the years but the times, they are a’changin, my friend. We have been through alot together, you and I. But the time has come for us to part ways.

Now, you must know, first of all, that I love you. There, I said it. I love the warmth you have provided for me. When other people are running for their coats, I know I can count on you to keep me warm. And if I was ever trapped on a desert island with no food, I know you would sacrifice your precious reserves to keep me alive long enough for a ship to find me. You act as a natuaral lower body airbag in case of an accident and you cushion my fall when I inevitably fall face first on the pavement. Many nights you and I sat happily on the couch together, enjoying a pint of ice cream or a bag of chips and some guinness, watching movies and falling asleep before the final credits. You and I make a great team, but unfortaunately, I can’t be on this team anymore. The problems you pose are far worse than I at first imagined and need to be addressed as soon as possible.

In order for me to live a healthier life, I have to end our partnership. In the past, I have tried many ways to get rid of you. I’ve starved you, only to find you convincing me to start up old bad habits again. I’ve tried to sweat you out, only for you to convince me that sleep was a much better alternative. I’ve tried fads of all kinds including pills, powders, electrodes, yoga, meditation, hypnosis, supplements, cabbage soup, grapefruit, lo-carb, no-carb, lo-fat, Weight Watchers, fat smashers, Atkins, South Beach, SlimFast, NutriSystem, Jenny Craig. None of them helped, because in the end, I didn’t have the mental resolve to resist YOU.

Today, I’m a different man than I was three years ago. Three years ago, my doctor decided to scare the hell out of me. ANGINA! HEART DISEASE! HIGH BLOOD PRESSURE! HEART ATTACK! STROKE! DIABETES! All these words hovered in the air during that visit and even though I knew you weren’t listening, I took his warnings to heart and changed my life. I lost alot of you over that first year and to be honest, I thought we were on the same page. For the first time in ages, I was down below that critical number my doctor spoke about and the weight kept falling off. For awhile there, I thought you were my friend, slowly leaving the spot on my body you have called home for so long for the benefit of my health. But then, you started convincing me to be lazy: you wanted those chips, you craved that burger and I blame you for the late nite visit to buy the Ben and Jerrys. My weight loss came to a stand still, only losing a few pounds here and there. I became dejected as the weight stopped and fell into old patterns again: “I’ll go to the gym tomorrow, oh I don’t feel like it today, ok next week I’m starting again! Ok, maybe next month…” It was all part of your plan, wasn’t it? You didn’t want to lose your home….

Then came this year. I made the resolution. And although you fought me tooth and nail the whole way, I lost another good amount of weight, won a bet and now, now I look at the shape of the real estate around my waist, and I think it’s time to finally evict you! I’ve had enough of you sabotaging everything I do. I love you, you are a part of me, but like any toxic relationship, this isn’t good for either one of us.

So get ready to pack up, my friend. You can take all the over-sized clothes with you, I won’t be needing them for too much longer. You can have my ass, since he occupies the other side of the property, he’s gotta go too. You can have my sore knees, my swollen ankles, my shortness of breath when I climb the stairs, the asthma attacks, the high blood pressure, the constant cravings for chocolate. You can have my insecurities, my worries about not being good enough, not being attractive, feeling like I have nothing to give someone because you were in the way. You can take it all! I’ve had it! I have had enough of you.

And I know, for the rest of my life I’m going to have to be careful that you don’t try to move back in. I know this, and I know you will be waiting for any opportunity, any sign of weakness or a breaking of my will to swoop in and take up residence once again, but until then, I’m strong and I have friends, friends who have my best interests at heart. Friends who don’t want to see me destroy all the progress I made. Goodbye old friend, I’m sure we will speak again, but from now on, I’m not listening to you.

Women of Inspiration or Woohoo! My List of “Hotties”!

I read someone elses blog about ‘hotties’ and it got me thinking: what AM I looking for? What qualities do I look for? On a visual level? Emotional? Intellectual? ANd no matter how much I thought about it, no matter how much I tried to pinpoint one type or look, I could not find it. I seem to be all over the map with my tastes and my preferences. The only way I could think to define and illustrate this was to make up catagories and find someone that really defined that category in my mind.

NOTE: This little blog may seem biased towards musicians so tried to pepper it up with some choices outside of the world of music.

LITERARY CRUSH (NPR EDITION)

Sarah Vowell is one of my favorite authors. I have read every one of her books, I immediately turn up the radio when she comes on NPR and have seen her do readings in Boston. I even loved hearing her voice in The Incredibles (she voiced Violet, the daughter with invisibility powers).  In her writing, you can feel her passion for history and her details of family interactions are so true to life. She loves my favorite band (They Might Be Giants) and is a self confessed geek. Despite playing this for humorous effect, her writing hits me deeply and I always feel like I’ve learned something after reading one of her stories. And she is so cute!! Her pictures do her no justice whatsoever. I’m not sure what happens with the camera, but she looks so different in person. *sighs*

COMEDIC CRUSH

Madeline Kahn. I grew up watching her in the comedies of Mel Brooks and every time, she plays the over the top scenery chewing, comedic center of attention and I love every minute of it. Young Frankenstein, Blazing Saddles and even Clue, she shines in an ensemble cast where a lesser actress could easily fall into the background. One of her famous quotes: “There are no small parts, only small actors”. She was so right.

DRAMATIC CRUSHES

Angelina Jolie and Salma Hayek….do I even have to explain? Didn’t think so…let’s move on.

POP STAR CRUSH

Lady Kier from Deee-Lite. I have never owned very many so-called ‘dance’ albums, but their first album was incredible and you cannot tell me that your ass doesn’t start moving when “Groove is in the heart” comes pumping out the speakers! The video for that song was incredible and damn this woman can dance. We were at the Hard Rock Cafe in Boston and this video started playing in the restaurant. For a few minutes I was lost in that technicolor goodness….

ROCK CRUSH (WITH A SCOTTISH ACCENT)

Shirley Manson from Garbage. Working in radio had it’s perks and one of them was having the opportunity to meet musicians. When their first album was released, I weaseled my way to one of their shows and got a chance to interview Miss Manson. I was reduced to a giggly little fanboy in about 30 seconds. The eyes, the voice, the attitude, this woman has a way of cutting right through the pop/rock posturing and creating amazing pieces of writing and music. She challenges you with her lyrics while making your ass move with the beat….

ROCK CRUSH (ICELANDIC EDITION)

Bjork, strange, quirky, silly, shows up to awards shows dressed as a swan, throws a mean right hook if a papparazzi takes too many pics of her kids. Loved her unique voice when she was in the Sugarcabes but she really came into her own when she struck out as a solo artist.

ROCK STAR (COLLEGE RADIO EDITION)

Tanya Donnelly, formerly of Throwing Muses and Belly. Yeah, our little world of college radio in the 80’s and early 90’s didn’t have alot of women as headlining artists. There were a few who were more than inspiring (Kate Bush, Kim Gordon, Juliana Hatfield, PJ Harvey and of course, Tori Amos, more on her later) but Tanya Donnelly was just downright sexxy. Last year, she and Kristin Hersh, the other half of Throwing Muses got together for a show at the Brattle Theater that I heard about, but ultimately missed due to the suck that is my job…missed an opportunity to relive a little piece of my youth.

ROCK STAR CRUSH (COLLEGE RADIO EDITION, PART DEUX)

Natalie Merchant. I was re-reading this and I totally forgot to mention the amazing Miss Merchant. Formerly of 10000 Maniacs, she has since broken out on her own and produced some of the most soulfull music of the last decade or so. But when she was with the Maniacs, she stole my heart, spinning and singing on stage, her voice soaring above the music. “These Are Days” is one of those songs that will always be with me and will always make me smile and my heart to swoon a little.

ROCK CRUSH (TATTOOED GOODNESS)

Jennifer Arroyo from Kittie and Suicide City. I can’t say enough nice things about this woman. Met her through my friends in other bands and she is a total rockstar: super sweet, always so positive, tosses her bass around like a baton, amazing stage presence and covered in some really sick ink.

POLITICAL CRUSH (LEFT WING PUNDITRY)

Janeane Garofalo, I first saw her do stand up comedy on the very short lived Dennis Miller talk show and had a little crush on her ever since. The punk attitude, the glasses (not pictured) she epitomizes what I would chase after in the 90’s: frumpy post punk nerdy girl goodness! 🙂 Lately, she has been the voice of the ‘radical left’, which, truly is a bunch of bullshit. You want radical left wing looniness? Go talk to Jello Biafra sometime and get back to me how ‘lefty looney’ you think Janeane is then. I heard she is returning to acting this coming season on 24! I’m so excited!

TELEVISION CRUSH (BUFFY THE VAMPIRE SLAYER EDITION)

Allyson Hannigan…and pretty much every woman on that show! I think this show was the ultimate nerdy culture wet dream! A group of amazing and dead sexxy woman fighting the supernatural evils of the world…with a couple guys thrown in there too… But Allyson Hannigan truly won my heart with her shy portrayal of the computer nerd who slowly but surely finds herself and her confidence as the show went along…

TELEVISION CRUSH (FOOD NETWORK SPECIAL)

Giada and Rachael Ray….there is a reason why males 18-45 are watching their shows! Giada is truly a wonderful chef and she is great at showing technique and truly creating some amazing recipes. She is a traditionalist, formerly trained and experienced with cooking and creating restaurant ready recipes for the home. Rachael Ray is not. She is perky and happy and way way overexposed but her appeal is simple: she is the everyperson who can create a great dish in the kitchen that may not be ‘formerly’ or ‘technically’ correct, but still great food. She is more accessible than Giada, perhaps. But both are damn cute, but Giada wins, hands down in just sheer luminescance. She absolutely glows when she is talking about something she is truly passionate about. Rachael giggles, which is cute…but no Giada… 🙂

TELEVISION CRUSH (NEWS NETWORK ALERT)

Robin Meade, the only reason I watch Headline News on CNN. I know nothing about her other than the camera loves her and she can read the news….

ROCK CRUSH (LOCAL GAL MAKES IT BIG EDITION)

Amanda Palmer from the Dresden Dolls. She just rocks my little world. Been to about 12 shows for the Dresden Dolls over the years and have been truly amazed at how far they have come, how the punk cabaret scene has grown and grown and Miss Palmer just matures more and more as artist. My friend M said it best: she just seems like this force of nature and I can’t help but be drawn in by her words and her voice.

OVERALL TOTAL AMAZING GODDESS

 

Tori Amos is just incredible. An amazing talent, incredible writer and performer and capable of reducing me to a blubbering puddle of goo. Her words inspire me, her voice sends chills down my spine and seeing her perform, well, definitely one of the best shows I have ever been to. When I was living in England, I had the opportunity to meet her and I completely froze up. I had bullshitted my way backstage with the “I work for an American Radio Station” which worked more often than not for some reason. I met the guitarist and we were chatting when I felt a hand on my shoulder. I turned and there was Tori Amos. I completely froze. The world went into slow motion as I introduced myself and tried to talk. I don’t remember what we talked about, but at the end, she said “enjoy the show” and leaned in and gave me a little hug. I watched her walk away and the guitarist got my attention again. He was laughing. And I was beet beet red….. He looked at me and said: “DOn’t worry, shes used to that…” One of my favorite lyrics: “Just because you can make me cum, doesn’t make you Jesus Christ”. Love her…

 

10 Movies I will always stop and watch

Inspired by  Pam 

I suffer from insomnia now and then, usually brought on by worry: worry about my health, money, family, non-dating status, etc. All these things have been known to weigh heavily on my mind and sometimes preventing me from getting a good night’s sleep. The good news: late night television! I can always rely on some station somewhere showing a repeat. Not all nights mind you (can’t tell you how many times I have been lulled to sleep by someone selling the PX90 workout system, a bag of doritos spilling onto the floor as I finally crash) but on those rare occasions, I will find a movie I haven’t seen in ages and just have to watch. Like the warm blanket I’m usually already wrapped up in, I lose myself to my familiar friend and enjoy a chuckle or two.

Young Frankenstein is the perfect comedy. A stunning spectacle, this movie captures all of these comedic actors at the height of their powers and timing. Even though I have this on dvd and know the movie by heart, I cannot help myself but stop and watch whenever I see it on tv. Now some quotes:

Igor: You know, I’ll never forget my old dad. When these things would happen to him… the things he’d say to me.

Dr. Frankenstein: What did he say?

Igor: “What the hell are you doing in the bathroom day and night? Why don’t you get out of there and give someone else a chance?”

 

Dr. Frankenstein: For the experiment to be a success, all of the body parts must be enlarged.

Inga: His veins, his feet, his hands, his organs vould all have to be increased in size.

Dr. Frankenstein: Precisely.

Inga: [her eyes get wide] He vould have an enormous schwanzschtücker.

Dr. Frankenstein: [ponders this a moment] That goes without saying.

Inga: Voof.

Igor: He’s going to be very popular.

Dr. Frankenstein: Igor, would you give me a hand with the bags?

Igor: [doing a Groucho Marx] Coitainly, you take the blonde and I’ll take the one in the toiban.

[Frankenstein, Igor and Inga arrive in front of HUGE castle doors with IMMENSE metal door knockers; Igor bangs the door knockers loudly as Frankenstein helps Inga from the carriage]

Dr. Frankenstein: What knockers!

Inga: [blushing, smiling shyly] Oh! Thank you, doctor!

Monty Python and the Holy Grail. Absurdist humor at it’s finest.

Frenchman: You don’t frighten us, English pig-dogs! Go and boil your bottoms, sons of a silly person! I blow my nose at you, so-called Ah-thoor Keeng, you and all your silly English K-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-niggits! [makes taunting gestures at them]

Sir Galahad: What a strange person.

King Arthur: Now, look here, my good man–

Frenchman: I don’t want to talk to you no more, you empty-headed animal food trough water! I fart in your general direction! Your mother was a hamster and your father smelt of elderberries!

 

Airplane! Visual gags galore! This movie makes me giggle like a little kid…

Striker: Surely there must be something you can do.

Rumack: I’m doing everything I can, and stop calling me Shirley

 

Tower: Flight two-zero niner, you’re cleared for take-off.

Capt. Clarence Oveur: Roger.

Roger Murdock: Huh?

Tower: L.A. departure frequency one two three point niner.

Capt. Clarence Oveur: Roger.

Roger Murdock: Huh?

Victor Basta: Request vector, over.

Capt. Clarence Oveur: Huh?

Tower: Flight two-zero niner, cleared for vector three-two-four.

Roger Murdock: We have clearance, Clarence.

Capt. Clarence Oveur: Roger, Roger. What’s our vector, Victor?

Tower: Tower Radio, clearance, over.

Oveur: That’s ‘Clarence Oveur’, over.

Tower: Roger.

Roger Murdock: Huh?

Tower: Roger, over.

Roger Murdock: What?

Capt. Oveur: Huh?

Victor Basta: Who? 

   

Lethal Wapon, the buddy movie that spawned hundreds of imitators and 3 sequels. Mel in a horrible mullet, Danny Glover yelling alot. Unbelievable stoy, destruction and mayhem and lots of dead drug dealers and guns. And only one quote matters for this movie and it’s sequels: “I’m too old for this shit.”

 

Four Weddings and a Funeral, OK, I admit it, sometimes I’m a big sap. Saw this movie for the first time on the flight back from England after living there for a year so I’m a little nostalgic and wistful when this movie comes on. And yeah, I ignore the obvious flaws in the film (just what the HELL is Andie Macdowal even doing in this film anyway???) and just enjoy it for the silliness…..

Charles: Sorry.. look. Sorry, sorry. I just, ehm, well, this is a very stupid question and… , particularly in view of our recent shopping excursion, but I just wondered, by any chance, ehm, eh, I mean obviously not because I guess I’ve only slept with 9 people, but-but I-I just wondered… ehh. I really feel, ehh, in short, to recap it slightly in a clearer version, eh, the words of David Cassidy in fact, eh, while he was still with the Partridge family, eh, “I think I love you,” and eh, I-I just wondered by any chance you wouldn’t like to… Eh… Eh… No, no, no of course not… I’m an idiot, he’s not… Excellent, excellent, fantastic, eh, I was gonna say lovely to see you, sorry to disturb… Better get on…

Carrie: That was very romantic.

Charles: Well, I thought it over a lot, you know, I wanted to get it just right.

 

Gareth: I’ve got a new theory about marriage. Two people are in love, they live together, and then suddenly one day, they run out of conversation.

Charles: Uh-huh.

Gareth: Totally. I mean they can’t think of a single thing to say to each other. That’s it: panic! Then suddenly it-it occurs to the chap that there is a way out of the deadlock.

Charles: Which is?

Gareth: He’ll ask her to marry him.

Charles: Brilliant! Brilliant!

Gareth: Suddenly they’ve got something to talk about for the rest of their lives.

Charles: Basically you’re saying marriage is just a way of getting out of an embarrassing pause in conversation.

Gareth: The definitive icebreaker.

  The French Connection. Unabashedly politically incorrect, violent and thrilling, this movie is a throwback to honest storytelling and amazing action. Popeye Doyle is one of the most compelling characters ever put to film. And if you have a fascination with car chases, this film contains one of the most amazing car chases you will ever see.

Jimmy ‘Popeye’ Doyle: All right, Popeye’s here! get your hands on your heads, get off the bar, and get on the wall!

The Blues Brothers,  unnapreciated in its time, this film is a cult classic of humor, car chases and rhythm and blues! It broke Jon Belushis heart that this film wasn’t more succesful or even acknowledged during its release. Word to the wise: see this film but never see the sequel….THAT will break your heart…

Elwood: It’s a hundred and six miles to Chicago, we’ve got a full tank of gas, half a pack of cigarettes, it’s dark, and we’re wearing sunglasses.

Jake: Hit it.

 

Jake: First you trade the Cadilac for a microphone, then you lie to me about the band, and now you’re gonna put me right back in the joint!

Elwood: They’re not gonna catch us. We’re on a mission from God!

 

[Held up by a Nazi parade]

Jake: [To a patrolling officer] Hey, what’s going on?

Police Officer: Ah, those bums won their court case so they’re marching today.

Jake: What bums?

Police Officer: The fucking Nazi party.

Elwood: Illinois Nazis!

Jake: I hate Illinois Nazis.

[The Blues Brothers promptly drive through the parade, forcing the Nazis to dive into the river].

 

The Commitments, one of my favorite books and definitely a memorable film. A group of irish try to bring soul music to Ireland. Aside froma a few memorable characters, the entire cast are all musicians who do a damn good job playing up their characters as working class people with nothing but a dream and raw talent. The music is incredible and this film never fails to suck me right in…

Jimmy Rabbitte: Soul is the music people understand. Sure it’s basic and it’s simple. But it’s something else ’cause, ’cause, ’cause it’s honest, that’s it. Its honest. There’s no fuckin’ bullshit. It sticks its neck out and says it straight from the heart. Sure there’s a lot of different music you can get off on but soul is more than that. It takes you somewhere else. It grabs you by the balls and lifts you above the shite.

 

Jimmy Rabbitte Sr: Is this the band then? Betcha U2 are shittin’ themselves.

 

Jimmy Rabbitte: What do you play?

Failed Drug Buyer: I used to play football in school.

Jimmy Rabbitte: I mean what instrument.

Failed Drug Buyer: I don’t.

Jimmy Rabbitte: Then what are you doing here?

Failed Drug Buyer: Well, the line was so long I thought you were selling drugs.

STar Wars and all its sequels and prequels…yup, I’m a complete and total geek when it comes to Star Wars and no matter whats going on, I always lose myself when this film appears on the screen. I was a wee child when I saw Star Wars in the theaters. Yup, I’m a little old…

Darth Vader: Don’t be too proud of this technological terror you’ve constructed. The ability to destroy a planet is insignificant next to the power of the Force.

Admiral Motti: Don’t try to frighten us with your sorcerer’s ways, Lord Vader. Your sad devotion to that ancient religion has not helped you conjure up the stolen data tapes, or given you clairvoyance enough to find the Rebels’ hidden fort– [grasps his throat as if he is being choked]

Darth Vader: I find your lack of faith disturbing.

Grand Moff Tarkin: Enough of this. Vader, release him!

Darth Vader: As you wish.

[Motti staggers back to table]

[Luke sees the Millennium Falcom for the first time]

Luke Skywalker: What a piece of junk!

Han Solo: She’ll make point five past lightspeed. She may not look like much, but she’s got it where it counts, kid. I’ve added some special modifications myself. But we’re a little rushed, so if you’ll just get onboard, we’ll get outta here

Han: Uh, everything is under control. Situation normal.

Intercom Voice: What happened?

Han: Uh, had a slight weapons malfunction. But, uh, everything’s perfectly all right now. We’re fine. We’re all fine here, now, thank you. How are you?

Intercom Voice: We’re sending a squad up.

Han: Uh, uh, negative, negative. We had a reactor leak here now. Give us a few minutes to lock it down. Large leak… very dangerous.

Intercom Voice: Who is this? What’s your operating number?

Han: Uh… [shoots the intercom] Boring conversation anyway. Luke, we’re gonna have company!

Princess Leia Organa: This is some rescue! You came in here, and you didn’t have a plan for getting out?

Han Solo: He’s the brains, sweetheart!

Luke Skywalker: Well, why don’t you –

[Leia grabs Luke’s blaster and begins shooting at Stormtroopers]

Han Solo: What the hell are you doing?!

Princess Leia Organa: Somebody has to save our skins! [blasting a hole with Luke’s blaster in the ventilation shaft] Into the garbage chute, flyboy!

 

Ok, I’m cheating here, but I’m a sucker for sci-fi, action adventures and the blatantly testosterone driven, guns ablazin, “Get to the Choppahhhh!” and “Get away from her you Bitch!” films…Late night insomnia is a great time to disconnect your brain and just enjoy the spectacle and not think about the cerebral or logical and revel in the explosions, screaming and yelling, car chases and improbable story lines.  No quotes here because I think everyone knows all the best lines to these films…

 

6 word meme or I’m a little late for this party

Maleesha tagged me for this a while ago and since I’m in a meme mood….

“The Rules”

Write your own six word memoir.

Post it to your blog including a visual illustration if you would like.

Link to the person who tagged you in your post Tag 5 more blogs with links

Don’t forget to leave a comment in the tagged blogs with an invitation to play…My Six Word Memoir:

……These Boots Are Made For Walkin

Prescott Park

Not tagging anyone here since everyone has already done this silliness.

More MEME Madness, Stolen from Pam

· Do you dance in front of the mirror?

 

Yes and in public too, much to my friends dismay

· Ever told a lie?

I work in car sales, so “Duh”.

· Been arrested?

I was brought in for questioning regarding a friends arrest, but I have never been charged with nor convicted of anything.

· Kissed a picture?

Oh I’m sure at some point in the midst of raging hormonal self when I was a kid 

· Fallen asleep at work/school?

3:30, every day, I go into this low energy crash where I could be in the middle of typing a deal and I just snooze right out…luckily my office is in the corner and out of sight of prying and nosey co-workers

· Held an actual snake?

Indeed, held an albino boa at a customers animal reserve in Greenfield NH…damn that thing was heavy!

· Ever run a red light?

Almost every day: we have a set of lights that if you don’t hit it just right, the light NEVER changes…I have seen people sit there for 10-15 minutes, expecting the light to change and it never does….

· Ever drink and drive?

Every morning: gotta have my coffee on the way to work. But I am usually the designated driver for my friends because I barely drink. I will have one or two drinks very early on and then water for the rest of the night and then drive my drunken silly friends home….more important to me to make sure my friends get home safely than for me to get a ‘buzz’

· Been suspended from school?

Yup, I got a week’s suspension my senior year of high school for tossing someone down a flight of stairs. The person being tossed was expelled for pulling a knife on a student, a friend of mine, and I picked him up as he was leaving and chucked him down the stairs of the english/math wing. Not proud of any of this, but I feel I was kinda justified in being angry with the little puke for trying to knife a friend…and the school felt the same way… J

· Ever been fired from a job?

Been fired a few times in my life, most memorably after I set up someones computer system for them and when it came time to formally work out a contract, they ‘discovered’ porn in their server (the one I set up) and fired me on some bogus zero tolerance internet policy. According to people still there, this has happened many times since whenever they need to upgrade their system. The other most memorable was at a restaurant where I was manager, asked for a raise and suddenly, everything I did was wrong and then a ‘friend of the owner’ told them they ‘saw’ me steal money and fired me. I would love to actually get fired from a job for actually fucking up…oh, wait, no I don’t…forget I said that.

· Been in a fist fight?

Yeah, being one of the few punk rock kids in Preppieville USA led to quite a few beat downs, sadly enough…did I mention I had a troubled youth?

· Sang karaoke?

Much to my friends displeasure….

· Done something you told yourself you wouldn’t?

Yup, very recently in fact and it will never happen again

· Laughed until something you were drinking came out your nose?

Hot coffee and nasal passages are not a good combination, trust me on this

· Ever gone “under the knife?”

I haven’t had any ‘real’ surgery. Had a mole removed and my knee ‘looked at’ which meant cutting an incision and sticking a camera in there, but that’s it really…

· Ever laughed until you wet yourself?

That’s why I wear depends daily…

· Ever been dumpster diving?

College days were fun! For an archeology class, we went dumpster diving to collect clues on the culture around us and work up a history…yeah, I fucking hated that class

· Kissed in the rain?

On the beach, in the rain, watching lightning strike the water, hi-lighting the Isles of Shoals in the distance…it was almost perfect….

· Sang in the shower?

Hell yeah!

· Sat on a rooftop?

I helped my friend re-shingle his roof and I slipped and fell off the roof and onto the balcony on the second floor…he never asked me to help him again.

· Ever witnessed a crime?

No comment

· Thought about your past with regret?

No regrets, no time for examining and second guessing myself. I would rather live life for the experiences and enjoy it all, the good and the bad.

· Been pushed in the pool with your clothes on?

Of course.

· Skinny dipped?

Hell no!

· Cried yourself to sleep?

 A few too many times in my life and usually over silly crap and useless people.

· Fired a gun?

I’m not a hunter, but I love venison, elk and moose…but yeah, I was a boyscout so guns were part of all that and shooting targets and skeet were part of summer camp when I was a wee lad. I own a gun now that I have never fired: belonged to my sister Pam and when she passed away, my brother in law gave it to me. It sits in a box, untouched.

· Liked someone with nobody else knowing about it?

Who hasn’t had a crush in their life? My problem is, I usually have these unrealistic crushes on people who are unnattainable, uninterested, misleading or ‘just want to be friends’…that last one I’m fine with, you can never have enough friends…. J

· Played strip poker?

Texas Hold Em, but never strip poker…I don’t see how that would benefit anyone but me since my clothes won’t fit anyone in my crowd… J

· Donated blood?

Quite a few times, big believer in keeping the blood supply going ever since the 80’s when there was a huge fear of AIDS being in the blood supply and we had a crisis of non-viable or verifiable blood just being tossed away for fear of spreading HIV….I try to give once a year if I can.

· Liked someone you shouldn’t?

Oh yes, yes indeed…nothing better than being lied to…

· Have a tattoo?

One on my right arm, but plans for many more…if I didn’t have this job, I would be covered in tattoos

· Been to jail?

Visited a few…last time I went to the jail in Concord, I was there to visit the craft store outside of it. They sell the furniture and other items that the inmates make in woodshop in the prison. I have a few book cases from there that were cheap and damn nice!. 

· Have or had any piercings?

Yup, both ears, septum and a nipple…the last one was a HUGE mistake since I had it done at a party and they aparently didn’t disinfect the needle. Woke up with a bad infection and huge swelling….as a man, it’s rather disturbing to wake up with cleavage…all the piercings are gone now.

· Caught someone cheating on you?

Haahaahaahaa….I’ve been cheated on and I’ve been ‘the other guy’

· Mooned/Flashed someone?

I’ve been known to moon someone from time to time

· Been to a rodeo?

No, but I have been to plenty of state fairs where horsepulls and tractor pulls and the like take place.

· Been to a NASCAR race?

Hell no! Whats so exciting about watching a group of guys making a left turn for 500 laps???? Now when they crash, that’s always fun to watch!. 

· Been in love?

Head over heals, sadly, she had trust issues and complex neuroses that I had to admit defeat to. 

· Met a celebrity?

I have met quite a few musicians, comedians and radio personalities as well as authors and artists, but never any of the “Hollywood” type…., wait, I did meet Mark Wahlberg once…and Julia Child! She was hysterical! Does Tom Bergeron count as a ‘real’ celebrity?

· Been on TV?

Haahaa! On NH public television, once for their annual auction and once in the audience for Granite State Challenge, a quiz show for groups of high school kids from all the schools in the state

· Know how to cook?

Oh hell yeah! I’m a rockstar in the kitchen… J

· Slept outdoors?

Mmmm…I love falling asleep on the beach under the stars 

· Spent the night in a snow cave?

True story! I was a boy scout and one of my adventures with them involved building snow shelters and camping out in mid february…yeah, not the brightest thing I ever did…

· Smoked?

No cigarrettes for me….asthma is bad enough on its own, thank you very much…as for smoking other leafy products, well, I can’t say I have never partaken, but definitely not something I do anymore…

· Ever done drugs?

During my last 2 years of high school and going into college, I decided to try everything I got my hands on. I was a little reckless with what and how much I chose to smoke, eat, drink or inject into my body, but I’m glad I did because now I have no desire for anything….friends of mine still smoke weed, but I have absolutely no need nor desire to get stoned…I’ll have my wine and other alcoholic drinks from time to time, but being f’d up and out of control holds no fascination with me…been there, done that….on that note, I might do mushrooms again, given the opportunity mainly because it was so mellow and happy and not out of control crazy like other hallucinogens…

· Thought you were going to drown?

I was saved from drowning when I was in 1^{st grade. Not the happiest memory of that summer}

· Play an instrument?

I have been known to play the bongos and the bass from time to time

· Bungee jumped, skydived, based jumped, etc?

Yup, about 15 years ago, spent a weekend learning how to fall correctly and then did two jumps. For the first tandem jump, I got to the door and my arms reached out and grabbed the door jam in what I can only describe as a death grip: nobody could break my hold. It took three people to shove us out the door. But when it came time for the second jump, I could not dive out that door fast enough! What an amazing rush!!!

 

 

Shameless MEME thievery, part 1

1. Last movie you saw in a theater? Cloverfield on dvd the other night and I loved the originality and the total chaos of being caught up in that situationcthe acting however was a little meh. In the the theater, I saw The Incredible Hulk which made the comic book geek fanboy inside me squeal with glee almost as much as Iron Man J

2. What book are you reading? For the first time in ages, Im not reading anything. But now, Im thinking I will have to stop at the library on Tuesday before work and find somethingc.

3. Favorite board game? Probably Scrabble because I love words and language but for shear silliness, I love my Simpsons version of Monopolyc

4. Favorite magazine(s)? Slate Magazine. I know, not a print magazine, but I read it regularly.

5. Favorite smells? Laundry, fresh from the dryer. High tide when the waves are crashing over the rocks and the air tastes salty, I love that.

6. Favorite sounds? Waves, the silence of woods, finale of the fourth of july fireworks, laughter of my friends.

7. Worst feeling in the world? Realizing that you have been lied to or misled.

8. What is the first thing you think of when you wake up? oh god, off to the gym again

9. Favorite fast food place? No traditional fast food, but Loco Cocos Tacos has the most amazing burritos on the Maine seacoast, a quick drive from my NH homec J followed by Chipotles.

10. Future childs name? Still have to figure out dating before I go naming future carriers of my DNA

11. Finish this statement. If I had a lot of money Idc.? Start up a recording studio and booking agency to help struggling bands.

12. Do you sleep with a stuffed animal? Does my fat cat count? He sneaks into my bed at night and curls up next to me.

13. Storms – cool or scary? Mmmmmclove me some thunder and lightning

14. Favorite juice? Anything freshly squeezed

15. Finish this statement, If I had the spare time I wouldc.? Paint more and get out some of frustration on the canvas

16. Do you eat the stems on broccoli? Love Love Love Broccoli! Major staple of my little dietcJ

17. If you could dye your hair any color, what would be your choice? Im kinda liking my gray and brown concoction right now.

18. Name all the different cities/towns youve lived in? North Hampton (NH), Keene (NH), Mickleover (Derbyshire, UK) and that would be itc.

19. Favorite sports to watch? Football, tennis, rugby and soccer

20. One nice thing about the person who sent this to you? I stole this, wasnt sent

21. Whats under your bed? What you would expect under the bed of a single guy: boxes of porn and blow up dolls (kidding)

22. Would you like to be born as yourself again? Hmmmcto live my life again with the knowledge I have now? Wow, I would have had a much healthier childhood and high school yearsc J

23. Morning person, or night owl? Night owlcI dread the morningscmornings mean treadmills and painc.

24. Over easy or sunny side up? Scrambled with veggies and cheese please

25. Favorite place to relax? Ordiorne Point, Rye NH, wandering the tide pools

26. Favorite pie? I am easily swayed by ALL pie

27. Favorite ice cream flavor? NY Super Fudge Chunk baby!

28. Of all the people you tagged this to, whos most likely to respond first? No time to tag, you wanna do it, feel free to steal.